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movie quotes that crack you up.....

toad67toad67 Member Posts: 13,019 ✭✭✭✭
edited September 2019 in General Discussion
I've forgotten more than I will ever remember. But for some reason I seen one last night that just cracked me up. On the little series Hap and Leonard, Soldier said that he was so hungry he could eat the nuts off a low flying duck...... :lol:

What's your favorite???
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    hillbillehillbille Member Posts: 14,183 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    animal house.... " I'm a zit", and the food fight starts....

    and though there is no talking, the fireside fart scene from blazing saddles still gets me...
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    gearheaddadgearheaddad Member Posts: 15,096 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My Darling Clementine:

    Wyatt Earp:(Henry Fonda)
    Have you ever been in love, Mac?

    Mac:
    No, I have always been a bartender.
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    Aztngundoc22Aztngundoc22 Member Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    OK :

    Well raise my rent :

    and

    Almost lost a four hundred hand-cart :

    Thanks !!!
    The more people I meet : The more I like my Dog :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:


    I Grew Old Too Fast (And Smart Too damn Slow !!!) !!! :o :?
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    gearheaddadgearheaddad Member Posts: 15,096 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    gearheaddad wrote:
    My Darling Clementine:

    Wyatt Earp:(Henry Fonda)
    Have you ever been in love, Mac?

    Mac:
    No, I have always been a bartender.


    The Godfather:
    "Leave The Gun, Take The Canolli!"
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    HessianHessian Member Posts: 248 ✭
    edited November -1
    "Private Joker: How can you shoot women and children?" "Door Gunner: Easy, you just don't lead them so much."

    I don't know about my favorite, but this is one of the more absurd. For some sick reason it always gets a chuckle out of me.:)
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    Cornflk1Cornflk1 Member Posts: 3,715 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Just about anything from "Young Frankenstein", "PUT THE CANDLE BACK", kills me everytime.
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    BrookwoodBrookwood Member, Moderator Posts: 13,382 ******
    edited November -1
    From "The Blues Brothers": ?There are 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it?s dark, and we?re wearing sunglasses.? :D

    From "Uncle Buck" Uncle Buck Russell: Heres a quarter buy a rat chew that thing off your face!

    John Candy movies always crack me up!
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    tcattttcattt Member Posts: 41
    edited November -1
    Peter Sellers: Pink Panther
    Inspector Clouseau to hotel clerk: Does you dug bite?
    Clerk: No
    Clouseau bends to pet dog, dog latches on to his hand.
    Startled Clouseau to Clerk: I thought you said you dug does not bite
    Clerk: that is not my dog.
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    Ditch-RunnerDitch-Runner Member Posts: 24,576 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    way too many but a start

    if your going to shoot ,,shoot, don't talk
    dying ant much of a living
    are you going to pull them pistols or whistle Dixie
    mans got to know his limitations
    what knockers ( young Frankenstein )
    Gentlemen, you can?t fight in here. This is the War Room!?
    I am serious. And don?t call me Shirley
    It?s not the years, honey. It?s the mileage
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    ltcdotyltcdoty Member Posts: 4,169 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    " What a dump!".......Betty Davis in Dumbo the Elephant....
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    Mark GMark G Member Posts: 1,659 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Chuck Norris in Code of Silence:

    When I want your opinion I'll beat it out of you.
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    mrmike08075mrmike08075 Member Posts: 10,998 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Can I borrow your towel my car just hit a water buffalo...

    I will need some ball bearings and some 30 weight oil - it's all ball bearings these days...

    Yup just as I thought, it's a dickfor... what's a dickfor??? To pee with...

    Mike
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    KenK/84BravoKenK/84Bravo Member Posts: 12,055 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Another Young Frankenstein quote:

    "Yes, I believe the name was Abby, Abby Normal." (Que Marty Feldman. The Wild Eyed Dude.)


    Or -


    "Frau Bluker." (Sp?) "Neigh..........." repeated several times throughout the movie. Too funny. :lol:


    Or-


    "Wasn't your hump on the other side? Oh,................nevermind." (Que the Wild Eyed Dude - Marty Feldman.) Freakin hysterical.



    Another vote for - "Put Ze Candle Beck." :o :? :D:lol:
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    mrmike08075mrmike08075 Member Posts: 10,998 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It's true, it's true what they say about you people... lady let go of my arm.

    Mike
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    castingcasting Member Posts: 110 ✭
    edited November -1
    Leslie Neilson in Naked Gun, I think, Looking up a ladder at Priscilla Pressley says "Hey nice Beaver". She replies "Thanks I just had it stuffed". And of course the camera shot extends to a stuffed beaver up on the wall.
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    KenK/84BravoKenK/84Bravo Member Posts: 12,055 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    casting wrote:
    Leslie Neilson in Naked Gun, I think, Looking up a ladder at Priscilla Pressley says "Hey nice Beaver". She replies "Thanks I just had it stuffed". And of course the camera shot extends to a stuffed beaver up on the wall.


    Yes, the "Naked Gun" series.

    Remember when Leslie Nelson is eating a Lobster dinner at the White House, pulls the claw off a Lobster, and smacks Barbara Bush out of her seat? Classic LOL stuff.


    Leslie Nielson with another Detective at a Porn Store. Leslie loudly decrying it. "What kind of a Pervert would shop here?"

    The Salesman comes out of the back with a Chain saw/Dildo arrangement. "Your Order came in." :o:D:lol:
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    wpageabcwpageabc Member Posts: 8,760 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Classic Clint Eastwood...

    "Go ahead punk. Make my day..."
    "What is truth?'
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    gearheaddadgearheaddad Member Posts: 15,096 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    mrmike08075 wrote:
    Can I borrow your towel my car just hit a water buffalo...

    I will need some ball bearings and some 30 weight oil - it's all ball bearings these days...

    Yup just as I thought, it's a dickfor... what's a dickfor??? To pee with...

    Mike
    Fletch
    Great movie. Very under rated IMHO.
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    11b6r11b6r Member Posts: 16,588 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Magnificent Seven-
    [Chris and Vin were just shot at, hitting the tip of Chris' cigar]
    Vin : You elected?
    Chris : Na. I got nominated real good.
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    mrmike08075mrmike08075 Member Posts: 10,998 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    And spies like us...

    Another cult classic with ackroyd and chase...

    It have been told that if you quote the movie top gun at top gun you will get benched and ripped and possibly bounced from the program

    So keep that number for truckmasters driving school on hand...

    Or : boy when I get home I'm gonna punch your momma in the mouth - there is no way you are.the fruit of my loins - the best part of you...

    Mike
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    Quick&DeadQuick&Dead Member Posts: 1,466 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Old western where father & 3 sons chasing one sons' wife that has run off with some fellow: They almost catch them but have to keep chasing, the father says: "Damn, if they didn't a puzzy, there would be a bounty of every one of 'em."

    Arnold Swartzeneger movie: He catches a crook; holds him by the ankles over a cliff and just drops the crook. Gets back in his car and the girl in the passenger seat asks; Where is the crook. Arnold says "I let him go."

    Western movie: Cowboy shoots another dead. Bystander says "You just shot an unarmed man" Shooter says "He should have armed himself."

    :lol:
    The government has no rights. Only the people have rights which empowers the government.
    We have enough gun laws, what we need is IDIOT control.
    Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family.

    I thought getting old would take longer. :shock:
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    ltcdotyltcdoty Member Posts: 4,169 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Jack Worden in the movie So Fine, 1981. He's riding with a beautiful woman in a gondola in Venice..and asks.."How long the streets been f**ked up like this?
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    MIKE WISKEYMIKE WISKEY Member, Moderator Posts: 9,972 ******
    edited November -1
    use enough dynamite there Butch?
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    Horse Plains DrifterHorse Plains Drifter Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 39,383 ***** Forums Admin
    edited November -1
    The card dealer in Tombstone: "You nerve rackin' sonsabitches are worse than my brother's kids!"
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    toad67toad67 Member Posts: 13,019 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Or the one from caddy shack when Chevy Chase asked his caddy what his SAT score told him he should be... a fire watcher... :lol:
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    KenK/84BravoKenK/84Bravo Member Posts: 12,055 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Horse Plains Drifter wrote:
    The card dealer in Tombstone: "You nerve rackin' sonsabitches are worse than my brother's kids!"




    Shortly followed by Wyatt Earp's "You gonna pull that Smokewagon, or just stand there and bleed?"



    Doc Holliday - " Why Ike, if I thought we were no longer friends, I don't know if I could bear it." Classic.
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    drl50drl50 Member Posts: 2,496 ✭
    edited November -1
    KenK/84Bravo wrote:
    casting wrote:
    Leslie Neilson in Naked Gun, I think, Looking up a ladder at Priscilla Pressley says "Hey nice Beaver". She replies "Thanks I just had it stuffed". And of course the camera shot extends to a stuffed beaver up on the wall.


    Yes, the "Naked Gun" series.

    Remember when Leslie Nelson is eating a Lobster dinner at the White House, pulls the claw off a Lobster, and smacks Barbara Bush out of her seat? Classic LOL stuff.


    Leslie Nielson with another Detective at a Porn Store. Leslie loudly decrying it. "What kind of a Pervert would shop here?"

    The Salesman comes out of the back with a Chain saw/Dildo arrangement. "Your Order came in." :o:D:lol:

    Neilsen: "What would they be doing in the red light district?:
    George Kennedy: "Sex , Frank"
    Neilsen: No thanks, maybe later.
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    Don McManusDon McManus Member Posts: 23,489 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
    Freedom and a submissive populace cannot co-exist.

    Brad Steele
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    KenK/84BravoKenK/84Bravo Member Posts: 12,055 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Don McManus wrote:
    Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?


    Sorry Don, (and I may very well be wrong,) but I believe it is, "Ever been to a Turkish Prison, Jimmy?"

    The inflatable "Auto Pilot," was hysterical.
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    BobJudyBobJudy Member Posts: 6,483 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm not gonna hit you, I'm not gonna hit you, The hell I'm not! From McClintock
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    yoshmysteryoshmyster Member Posts: 21,082 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "Black Rain" pretty much everything Michael Douglas snaps back at the suits in Japan and Andy Garcia translating what was said :lol::lol::lol:.

    Example; Douglas says "I usually get kissed before I get f*****" Garcia translates after asked "what did he say?" "fore play".
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    JIM STARKJIM STARK Member Posts: 1,150 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Can't remember the movie, but...
    " I'm so hungry I could eat the northbound end of a southbound mule"!!!!!!!
    JIM...............
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    Aztngundoc22Aztngundoc22 Member Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    OK :

    OK Punk : Did I shoot 5 or 6 times :::

    You feel lucky Punk ????

    Do You believe in Jesus ????

    and :::

    Thanks !!!
    The more people I meet : The more I like my Dog :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:


    I Grew Old Too Fast (And Smart Too damn Slow !!!) !!! :o :?
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    Aztngundoc22Aztngundoc22 Member Posts: 2,314 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    OK :

    Thats an AK47 : it makes a very distinct sound when being fired @ you !!!!!!!!!!

    That dont mean we are gonna swap spit in the showers in the wee hours of the morning !!!!

    This is my rifle : this is my gun : this is for killing : this is for fun !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks !!!
    The more people I meet : The more I like my Dog :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:


    I Grew Old Too Fast (And Smart Too damn Slow !!!) !!! :o :?
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    11b6r11b6r Member Posts: 16,588 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    When Harry Met Sally-
    "I'll have what she's having."
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    11b6r11b6r Member Posts: 16,588 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXZs3mjGlQU
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    bustedkneebustedknee Member Posts: 2,002 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I can't see! I can't see!

    Whatsa matter?

    I got my eyes closed.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Qhf6dPYapA4


    Pretty much describes the world today.

    I'm sorry. That is not funny any more.
    I can't believe they misspelled "Pork and Beans!"
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    papernickerpapernicker Member Posts: 1,366 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    That's a hell of a price to pay for being stylish
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