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I Know I Am Wrong

dav1965dav1965 Member Posts: 26,540 ✭✭✭
edited November 2019 in General Discussion
I do not work because of my health. All of my doctors say i will never work again. My Mom is in very bad health and is weighing 92 pounds dressed. The doctors say she has giving up on living and has stopped eating and drinking.

She lives a hour and a half away if traffic is good and i do not see her as often as i should. It just hurts so bad to see her weighsting away and there is nothing i can do about it. I guess i am going to force myself to go once a week whether i want to see her that way or not.
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  • hillbillehillbille Member Posts: 14,459 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    dave my mom was that way the last month or so of her life, I used to take her ice cream and tell her not to let the nurses find out, she was diabetic, but I had ask the nurses and her DR. and they both said no more than she was eating anything was better than nothing, they monitored her sugar before every meal and gave her insulin accordingly, so when I would visit I allways stopped and told the nurse I had a ice cream cone/milkshake for her and they would check her sugar when I left, funny thing was she wouldn't eat it if it was served for desert at the home, but if I brought it she usually ate it all.

    enjoy her while you can dave, once she is gone you will have all kinds of questions you will wish you had ask, do it now while you can..
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  • kimberkidkimberkid Member Posts: 8,858 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My mom was 78 at Christmas of 2011. I thought something was wrong with her but dismissed it due to her age until I noticed her right eye would wander. In the next couple months things got worse quickly. I found out she?d had a couple falls but other than a bruise or two seemed fine. She started having fits of anger and started lashing out at people. I took her to several doctors and they were stumped. Then they wanted to do an MRI and just before the procedure I remembered that back in 1982 she has an aneurism that almost killed her they repaired it. They also found another that hadn?t ruptured behind her eye but at that time was inoperable when I alerted the techs of that procedure and they said said it would have been repaired with a plastic coated metal clip and the MRI would have caused more damage or possibly killed her. Years went by without any problems until 2011, when she had a couple falls ...

    Instead of an MRI they did a Cat scan which revealed a golf ball sized tumor, which the doc suspected was calcified & in her falls was probably damaged her brain.

    My mom started exhibiting Alzheimer like symptoms and her body started failing as quickly as her mind.
    In July her sister couldn?t handle visiting mom ... as she rarely recognized anyone.

    I kept going, but once a week or so ... once in a while she would have moments of clarity.

    The first week of October she had started refusing food then fluids.

    Im sorry for you and wouldn?t wish this on anyone, I understand your pain.

    She passed on October 19, 2012
    If you really desire something, you'll find a way ?
    ? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
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  • RobOzRobOz Member Posts: 9,523 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My mom died from pancreatitis cancer in 2016. I was with her till her last breath. It was the hardest thing I have ever done but truly the most rewarding. It was just me and her when she passed. Stay strong.
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  • Sam06Sam06 Member Posts: 21,244 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I am heading to GA to spend the week with my Dad who has severe Dementia.

    I do this every month and it doesn't get easier.

    I usually have to stop and throw up, I feel like puking right now.

    Your doing the right thing go see her.
    RLTW

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  • drl50drl50 Member Posts: 2,496 ✭
    edited November -1
    dav1965 wrote:
    I do not work because of my health. All of my doctors say i will never work again. My Mom is in very bad health and is weighing 92 pounds dressed. The doctors say she has giving up on living and has stopped eating and drinking.

    She lives a hour and a half away if traffic is good and i do not see her as often as i should. It just hurts so bad to see her weighsting away and there is nothing i can do about it. I guess i am going to force myself to go once a week whether i want to see her that way or not.
    So sorry about your mom. I've had relatives whose last days are similar to what you describe. Most notably, my own mom. When the Dr says they have given up, it's because they have seen it so many times. It's possible you could have weeks or just days. Be sure to see her soon. Say everything you wish you had said, but haven't.
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