Good Friend Has CRS

love2shoot

Good friend has early stages of Dementia.  He gets lost, can't find some familiar places, can't remember some people.  He is a fellow hunter and gun owner.  His wife is administrating a vitamins regime and other help exercises to curb his memory impairment, I don't think it's working but it's worth a try.  I don't know if medical help has been solicited yet but may be in the future.  If a doctor is consulted, what is he required by law to do concerning his gun owning patient?  If so, what would happen?  Would the police intervene or social services?  Will the family be able to dispose of the guns or would they be confiscated?  I can see a point in the very near future that he should not be able to access his guns but am glad I don't have to make that decision.  Maybe we should just change the safe combination and let him think he forgot it?  Any suggestions or advice?

Thanks

jimdeere

I vote for telling  him the truth. Then change the combination.

BikerBob

May be worth asking, in a non-threatening manner, what he would like done with them during a lucid period.

If he doesn’t already have it spelled out, it could give him piece of mind knowing who they are going to.

rufe-snow

Unfortunately if it comes to that. Make sure all are accounted for. Not unknown, that he has 1 or more JIC's, that the missis isn't aware of. 

bpost

It is time to prevent him from accessing the guns, changing the combo is a great idea.  Diversion, diversion and diversion of the issue is the most compassionate way to handle it in my experience.  Tell him a lock smith has been contacted and will show up next week to fix the safe.  If he brings up guns, divert his attention to a fishing trip or painting the door frame, what ever it takes to get his mind off the issue is what my Mother and I found worked with her husband as he declined.

chiefr

Is it Alzheimer's or dementia, from what information you offer sounds likes Alzheimers. If  it is Altheimers, I agree with Bpost and recommend any car keys are kept from him as well.  

bustedknee

Good question. 

I address the solution as if it was me.

Since my Will/wishes does not address this situation I will take care of that in the near future.

My Will/wishes already says who gets what upon my death and disposal of guns not on my wishes list are left to my survivors, wife, et. al. to do with as they see fit..

I shall add the above situation prior to my death.  Go ahead and pass them out then sell the remainder.

If I don't remember them, what is the difference?  Just leave me one Glock under my pillow....just in case.

hillbille

if wife doesn't want em around, give them to the kids now if they are trustworthy.......

Ditch-Runner

 terrible news . prayers or the friend and loved ones 
     my take,  be honest tell him  while he may still understand   . I would hope he will agree the best for all would be keep the firearms and car keys locked up 
     
       my grandmother, aunt ,mom ,and uncle all had and died from it  (  exception cancer took my uncle but he was also aware  he could no longer function due to dementia /alzheimer's  . I hate to say buy may have been a fast way for him to go
    my uncle  had found out a few months before the cancer  got him ,  he got lost driving around Walmart's parking lot trying to find his  out way after taking forever to find how to get into it ,  testing  confirmed he had it  . 
     my mom and the rest of the inflected dragged on for years not knowing any one and just gibberish when they tried to talk  so sad .
          I worry all the time  ,  I may have inherited it from my moms side of the family .   but serious I have made my mind up  and  decided  no way if I get it I am going to make a go of it after watching the suffering and frustration of all involved ,
 

chme

There is one woman I love in this world beyond life- my bride of 48 years- who is dying of a damn nasty disease called Huntington's.  Slowly destroys your memory, thinking abilities.  When the time came, explained we had to take her driver's license and car keys.  Made sure my firearms were secure.  Made sure that she would not wander out of the house at night.
If you love them, you do what you need to when you need to.  God knows, it is never easy.

He Dog

"but am glad I don't have to make that decision."  Then don't leave it to his family.   Friends who stay out of family business don't end up smelling later.

nmyers

Slow down.  You need to have a sit down with his wife or a responsible child.  There are many possible causes for dementia, some of them readily curable, such as an infection or vitamin B12 deficiency.  He needs a comprehensive medical exam by his family practice MD.  And, his wife or children need to have a Medical Power of Attorney form, properly completed & signed by him, while they can still get it.  Everything else, we'll be here for you later.

Neal

kimi

What Neal said, and ASAP.  Plus, it sounds to me like he might not be capable of accessing the safe as it is.  The wife and I have what is titled a Durable Power of Attorney, and a Durable Power of Attorney with Health Care provisions, in addition to our wills, that covers this sort of possibilities.

Gregor62

My mother was showing signs of Dimentia over the last year, and then she had several small strokes. It's like the decline in memory has kicked into overdrive, she loses everything, wallet gone this week, so Dad had to cancel cards etc. Shes done driving forever. Terrible to see someone you love so much slowly drifting away.

Smitty500mag

That's terrible to hear. But if he's not seen a doctor there's a chance it might be something else possibly? I've heard of certain medications that can cause someone to have memory loss. I think he needs to see a doctor just to make sure what exactly it is. I hope it's not any kind of Dementia. My Dad died of Progressive Supranuclear Palsy (PSP) which includes Dementia and it's a terrible thing to witness happen to a once big healthy man. No human deserves that disease no matter who they are.

mohawk600

DO NOT get social services involved with firearms..........ditto the doctor. Handle that stuff within the family. Most free states still allow private sales and transfers.

mohawk600

Flying Clay Disk said:

DO get medical evaluations done.  There is a better than 50% chance he can be helped.

Do NOT discuss the guns in any way, shape or form with authorities.  Keep this among yourselves and deal with it accordingly.

DO talk with your friend to determine if he understands what's happening.

DO ask your friend what he would like to have done.  (with the guns and everything else)

DO talk with the wife, but realize that she may be in denial or uncooperative.

DO understand that his wife may not be doing what is best for him, not for malicious reasons, but out of love or lack of understanding.

FCD was more inclusive and said it better than I did.