It's the little things that amuse me.
NeoBlackdog
Member Posts: 17,286 ✭✭✭✭
So yesterday I ran into town and picked up some groceries. The night before I'd eaten one of those store bought frozen pizzas for dinner and as I approached the grocery store it was once again making it's presence known, if you know what I mean.
I did the polite thing and managed to hold in any exhaust gasses as I made my way around the store, luckily I wasn't in there very long! As I was standing in line to check out I could feel something coming on that was just not going to be denied. The harder I fought to hold it in the harder it fought to come out! Oh Lawdy this is gonna be embarrassing! A mom and her three kids were passing behind me on their way to pick up who knows what when IT popped out! Phhhtttt! It was kind of a cute little fart but it also happened to occur about 18" from one of the little boys. I think, other than the noise that he may have thought I'd blown in his ear! I looked back and he was staring up at me wide eyed and starting to point. I quickly winked at him and put a finger to my lips... Shhhhh! He busted out in a grin about three sizes too big for his face and gave me a cute little double thumbs up! LOL! I would have loved to have heard the conversation in their car on their way home!!!
What a great day. 🤗
Comments
🤣🤣🤣
funny what a example for the kid 😁
my funny gas story . not competing just sharing
when I met my future wife it was the first date we had actually went on we were walking around some department store ( at that time picking up the latest top music cassette tape was a popular thing )
so I knew what was about to happen I could feel my tummy wanting to expel pressure ,So I took a different isle to get away real fast . and of course just as this heavy thick terrible smell was surrounding me 😮my new GF walk's up exact same time a couple older ladies stepped in from the other direction .
so I look at my newly met girl friend and as the old ladies were passing and I said OMG what you eat the old ladies started looking and of course caught my new GF off guard she was stunned .
she told me later that night she was so embarrassed , she should have just left me standing the isle that day and never looked back . ( I think she still thinks that )
I knew I had a keeper after that ( LOL )
Good one Neo! Unfortunately in my present state of age and infirmities there would have been more than just GAS passing! 😬
Shart comes to mind😲.
Well this site may be going to, well you know what.
Cropdusting can be fun!
there are times when those little walmart heathens are yelling and screaming and grabbing everything in sight, I TRY TO work up a good one and get close enough to deliver it, but with the new 6ft distancing rule it HAS to be a good one to have any effect on then and not me........
Kids think flatulence is hilarious. One little fat boy on my bus will let one and all the kids start putting the windows down and sticking their heads out.
I yell “No farting on the bus” and they all bust out laughing.
Heard somewhere that the definition of a surprise is a fart with lumps in it.
Right after the Second World War, my dad , just home from the First Marine Division, took a temporary job driving a city bus. When the urge came over him, he would let it go while accelerating. Then at the next stop, he would turn around and stare intently at some poor innocent soul...and shake his head in disgust.......
unfortunately the "shart" has happened to me a few times at work.
As far as simple farts go, I used to be able to generate some impressive ones. Lately, it seems they are not quite as offensive as they used to be..........don't know what's going on there. I am most productive early in the morning.........lol.
SBD...................silent but deadly!
It is most likely that when someone says the have never sharted, they will lie about other things to.😲
An elderly woman goes to her doctor & tells him that she has ben experiencing a lot of flatulence lately. Luckily however, they are silent & don't smell. So the doctor gives her some pills & tells her to come back to see him. She returns a week later & tells the doctor that the pills made her flatulence smell bad. The doctor said, "now that your sence of smell is better, you need to get hearing aids."