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A little humor (bad joke)
savage170
Member Posts: 37,468 ✭✭✭✭
Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor.
Which one picked it up?
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Santa of course, because the other two don't exist!
Comments
🤣🤣
speaking of bad jokes this one I dredged up from my child hood memories so at least 50+ years ago
a new school year had just started this was many years ago in a old one room school house and a new teacher showed up
she started going around the room asking kids there names , when she called on a young fellow a few seats back he said my name is "Tractor " , the class giggled , teacher said no funny stuff whats your name young man . he said mom and dad had a lot of kids so they started naming us kids from things on the farm so My name is tractor ,,, she was getting up set and said well young man you just go home think it over come back when you will tell me your real name ..
as the young fellow stood up shaking his head in disbelief and walking past the other kids in the room he looked over at his little brother a few rows back and said ... well come on "chicken S*&T "she does not believe my name is tractor and there no way is going to believe your name
Now days I can see where that name would just fit. I'm not talking about tractor.
oh, the old Wagon Wheel Jones joke.... and brother 2 dogs Fing. i was telling that back in the 1960s
This story has an honest lawyer.
A man was dying and wanted to take his money with him so he gave 10,000 in cash to his lawyer, his accountant and his priest. He instructed them to put the 10,000 he gave each of them in his casket when he died.
Well he finally died. At the funeral home first the accountant went to the casket and put in 8,000 in cash saying he had to deduct for doing his last taxes.
Then the priest went next and put 5,000 in cash in the casket. He said the church needed a new roof and he was sure the man would not object.
Then the lawyer went up to the casket. He told the accountant and priest they were dishonest for not putting the full 10,000 in the casket.
The lawyer said he was putting a check in the casket for the full 10,000.
Okay, I will throw out a groaner.....
Do trees poop?
Of course they do, where do you think number 2 pencils come from?
makes you wonder about mechanical pencils...............
I seem to remember a similar joke where the last guy (who just happened to be a Jewish Rabi) took all the cash out of the casket and then wrote a check for the full amount between all the cash donors. He then placed his check into the casket.
Savage170, I remember when you were doing a joke a day! Feel free to return to doing a joke every day. I would guess I speak for many GBers!
My source for most of the jokes was my SIL she is having a lot of medical conditions right now with what she is going thru I can't believe how cheerful she still is
Send her best wishes from all of us mi Amigo.
The money in the casket joke reminded me of the dying fellow who gave his best friend an expensive bottle of whiskey, telling him to pour it all on his grave after he was gone. Later, another friend who had heard of the request asked the guy if he had done it. He admitted that he had. "Of course", he said, "I filtered it through my kidneys first."