It'll be one year tomorrow the 21st of October...
Smitty500mag
Member Posts: 13,623 ✭✭✭✭
Since my wife June died. Hard to believe it's been one year since that damn disease took her. The pandemic virus comes and goes but cancer continues without taking a break. I've still not been able to bury my wifes ashes. I still can't stand the thoughts of putting her in the ground and driving off from the cemetery leaving her there alone. I know, I know she's not really there but why do people continue to visit gravesites of their loved ones if they don't think they're still there? So our sons have promised me they'll put my ashes with June's when I check out and bury us both at the same time in the same urn. We're still going to have a memorial for her now that I've healed up from my near death experience since that terrible morning and my oldest son's wife is in remission from her stage 4 brain cancer which is a miracle. My youngest son's wife had to finally quit her job due to something that the doctors can't figure out why she can't raise her arms up past her waist without excruciating pain. She has more testing coming up next week.
I was thinking it couldn't get any worse than this past year but as I was writing this message last night my Mom called and said that they discovered my sister has breast cancer yesterday morning. They did a needle biopsy and confirmed it is cancer and she had a MRI early this morning to see if it's spread to other parts of her body which she won't get the results back for a couple of days.
It's been a rough year all around for the women in my family. Actually it's been a rough decade or two. When our two daughters passed on June and I had each other to get us though those tough years. I never though anything could ever be any worse than that but without June there's no getting through this and now with my sister who knows how that's going to turn out but I can just about guarantee you it's not going to go well. I now know how Job in the bible must have felt. The only woman in my family that's not been attacked by some disease is my 92 year old Mom who I call my Teflon Mom because no matter what life throws at her it just don't stick.
As for me I had a hard time with my family doctor after June's death and my medical problems. He wouldn't give me anything to help me sleep or do anything with my nerves. Luckily my cardiologist did. He said what I'm prescribing you is not going to be easy to quit but if you don't sleep and calm down you're not going to make it. He said we'll cross that bridge when the time comes. He said I've already put your heart back together once when one of my arteries ruptured the day June died and he said he didn't want all that work to go to waste. He's a good man and has a great sense of humor but I told him you did a great job but you actually didn't do me any favors that day.
This year has been like the movie ground hog day. Every morning is the same day over and over again and again except in my movie it gets worse everyday instead of being the same and it'll never end it appears until it finally does end once and for all.
Well you guys take it easy I'm headed to Knoxville so Mom doesn't have to be alone if my sister has to undergo surgery which I'm pretty sure she will. If I have to go through another 3 years of caring for my sister like I did my wife I don't think I could do it again. Sitting beside of a loved one 24 hours a day and watching that disease turn them into a skeleton is more than a person should have to go through or any person should have to witness. I pray none of you guys ever have to witness anything like that. I know some of you have but for the rest of you get your wife to take every test there is for that terrible disease and don't take just one doctors opinion. That's what killed my wife the orthopedic doctor told her it was arthritis and it turned out to be cancer that could have been cured if it was caught early enough.
Comments
Prayers for your sister.
Sorry to here Smitty. After 25 years in the hospital settings I can say there is nothing worse that to let a loved one waste away. I could say to stay strong but as I have kind of been through that with a relative those words bring little comfort. As we age it is hard to "stay strong" as the energy seems to dissipate earlier than it used to. So the powers that be let your mind rest and a day at a time and that's all I can offer.
Prayers
Prayers Smitty. Keep counting the blessings you have.
And fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit
While sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life
And drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche
Coming down the mountain
I feel for you Smitty. I'm thinking of you & your family in my prayers.
Smitty .
I think of you and what you have been thru often .
I honestly can not image what its like, to be in your situation and what you have suffered thru .
the best I can offer is prayers ,
I am terrible with words as I prove on here daily , just know a lot of people including us are with you in sprit and in our prayers
Prayers going out for you Smitty and your family. Just do your best to hang in there.
Prayers for you Smitty. Miss June is watching over you from above. -----------Ray
Sorry to hear of your situation Smitty. Many of us have been in your shoes as I have. Hang in there and comfort your sister and other family members. It isn't easy but maybe that's what we are destined to do.
Stay strong Smitty, the Lord has more work for you to do here on this side.
Don't ever, ever quit, Smitty. I've seen friends go through circumstances similar to yours, and it was ROUGH! Praying folks from this forum are praying for you and yours, even if we don't have any words to make you feel better.
I just want you to know Smitty that you have been in my prayers every day since you first posted about June's illness and your good fight together. These prayers continue for you my friend. Keep the faith and keep on keeping on!
Continued Prayers
Prayers for your continuing journey sir....
Smitty- PM sent
As usual you guys have been great to have during these bad times. During those bad days that turned into years my only outlet was coming on the form and checking out what was going on and for just a few minutes I was able to forget my problems and sorrows. So again I thank you guys for your kind words and prayers.
I was able to go watch my grandson Max play baseball in a tournament this weekend. I haven't seen him in over 3 years. He's already 11 years old now. They won the tournament today in a 3 to 0 shutout and he was voted MVP. He pitched in one game and played shortstop today in the championship game. Getting to see my grandson play looked exactly like his father did at that age. Max found out this morning they are number one in Tennessee and number 4 in the US in the fall baseball league for the 12 and under.
That's me, Max and Mark my oldest son. Max is showing off his championship ring.
My Massey Ferguson hat and t-shirt make me think of Joe Biden for some reason? 😄
Congrats Smitty, I know you're proud of him. My grandson is also 11 and plays shortstop/pitcher on a travel/fall ball team here in Middle Tennessee. Maybe they'll get to face-off some day. Hope you get to see him play more often.
Funny story: 2-3 years ago mine told my wife that he wants to play pro ball when he grows up. She said, "Oh, will you buy me a new house, then?" He looked a little funny and said, "You mean they would pay me?" The thought of fame and fortune had never crossed his young mind - he just loves to play ball. I'll bet Max is that way too.
WTG Max!! Congrats. Great picture smitty, so glad you got out. Thanks for sharing.
You do kinda look like Biden except for the beard.
I see Max doesn't mind getting in the dirt.
Thanks Jim I believe that's the nicest thing you've ever said about me and you know I really appreciate that. Haha