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Mental illness....helping someone who has issues is not for the weak for sure
Locust Fork
Member Posts: 32,002 ✭✭✭✭
I've got a family member who is suffering. Nobody can help them really. Everyone has thoughts on what should be happening, what needs to be done....but you really don't have any control over what happens. The person with issues has control over the situation. All the laws are there to protect them from people making them do anything. Its a sad situation for sure. Most people just step back and say "they need help" because thats really all you CAN do. The people that stick around to push for some kind of assistance are put through pure hell by the person they are trying to help. I wouldn't wish this on anyone....its pure misery.
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Comments
Been there, done that.
Sorry you're having to deal with an 'undealable' situation, Kasey. Prayers that you can find some kind of resolution for the issues.
I understand your frustration. My brother has an issue with his oldest son and has been trying to help him out for a couple of years. Extremely hard on him and all of us, but sometimes you just have to realize after you have spent so much time and money that some people just don’t want help or think they have all the answers and won’t listen. As Christ said, worrying will not add one day to your life.
We have been with a manic depressive family member for 30 years. One day at a time.
My middle brother is a paranoid schizophrenic. He is a constant source of family stress and cost.
For example, the Government gave extra money to the EBT food card holders during the scamdemic. In January they will take $1,000.00 from him if not used up. We have tried every way possible for him to stock up on canned goods, buy the meats marked down at Walmart and we will supply him freezer space for it. Hell, I will buy him a freezer. He refuses saying someone will turn him into the feds and he will go to jail for buying too much.
I gave him a car a few years back with brand new brake shoes in the trunk. I told him and reminded him a dozen times to change the pads during the next oil change, he never did. It finally ate the pads off, ate completely through the rotors and destroyed both front calipers.
He thinks people take the new oil of of his car motor putting the old oil back in. This is the car we bought him last sumer because the first one I gave him died.
He has changed the locks on his trailer three times in two years thinking someone is going into his house and taking a quart of milk out of the gallon container when he is not home.
His blinds on the windows are all busted up. My Mom bought him new blinds over a year ago. He has not put any of them up and has every excuse in the book as to why not. Then if you aske him if he wants help he gets mad and storms out of the house.
He is constantly thinking people are turning him in to the trailer park management for some misdeed. Finally, last week my Mother called the park manager about the issue. The manager said in the 10 years my brother has been there not a single issue has popped up.
He gets $780 a month SSI. His lot rent is going up to $420 in January.
When you have mental illness in your family the entire family is powerless to do anything except hope and pray.
I would suggest for those close to the problem to find and join a support group. It doesn't solve the problem but offers ways to live YOUR life and not be over burdened by the problems the affected person presents. Psychiatry and medications can help but it depends upon cooperation of the patient. Suicide is often the end result of a deeply affected person after years of therapy. Good luck to your family members.
Its hard for sure. No reasoning or explinations mean anything at all. If you are lucky you just have to listen to rambling nonsense or long twisted tales and if you aren't you get the screaming cussing out for what YOU have done to them along with "them"....there is always non stop sentences starting with "they". The drugs in their food....drones....people trying to run them off the road....people that took their keys, phone, etc. Its just pure misery. What is hard is watching how miserable they are. They are in hell. You feel bad when you have to deal with them....and want to walk away, but you can't and realizing how miserable they are makes it so much worse. I don't know where this will lead, but we are all doing what we can for them.
We know a family with a daughter has some issues but as you say they have tried but her rights override . The daughter has just checked her self out of hospitals many times
My thought society and institutions just want no part of any of them
The cost to states ,cities ,insurance company's is more than they want to burden with .threts of lawsuits from every alphabet groups that only want fame and cash and have no offers to help
Sadi n somany ways
Families and public just stuck like you say they need help and that's there limit
On control
Kasey, Prayers and hugs sent. @Locust Fork
Very lucky for any family not to have someone
We went through this with my aunt. One bad thing was that she accused everyone who helped her with stealing from her. She ended up hating those who helped her the most and doting on those who did nothing. She had no husband or children so we did what we could, then finally put her in a care center. It was a great relief to the family.
I could write a book about the travails of having a very close family member suffering from mental illness. Those same travails will continue to my dying day. All one can do is their best to persevere one day at a time.
Youngest son diagnosed Bi-Polar at age 17. He is now 34, living independently. The meds, along with some maturity and family\doctor support have helped him to hold a part time gas station party store job for the last few years. Some of the greatest shortcomings I have with him are the total lack of common sense regarding finance. Money burns holes in his pockets, so when he needs food, he gets food. Needs rent, he gets rent, utilities......etc. All things done directly for him but not by him. He got married a few years ago and we desperately hoped that his wife would take charge and direct things positively. So far, maybe a bit better with her added income but I'm afraid mental illness attracts mental illness. No pun intended here!
Prayers going out for you Kasey in your struggles with these demons.
Been there, did it for a living for a time. So many of these issues are biochemical, that conventional psychotherapy does not help much. Professional help is necessary, and you are right Kasey, they can't be forced. Many schizophrenics would rather live with their dark gods that live with the dead head feeling the drugs usually give them. They do not deserve to live under bridges, but that is where the courts have left them.
I pray for you my FRIEND
Paraplegic man, 35 years old, terminal bone condition eating at him slowly. He is being kicked out of his nursing home for sharing meds, trafficking vape, and who knows what else. He called me to help him move to a motel. But he hasn't contacted the motel yet, he thinks $100 in hand will get him into a room. He is convinced that SSI will help him soon. It's not going to be any fun.
I could add stories too....
Sending prayers for you and your family 💗
"Independence Now, Independence Forever."
John Adams
He Dog posted;
..................Professional help is necessary, and you are right Kasey, they can't be forced...................
Question; Is the person a danger to him/her self or others? If the answer is yes then if the laws have not been changed and depending on the state laws then mabe yes they can be forced.