A guy walks into a bar......OLD JOKE
William81
Member Posts: 25,339 ✭✭✭✭
A guy walks into a bar on Friday night and orders two beer. He drinks out of one beer and then the other. Week after week he does the same thing and after about 6 months, the bartender asks the guy why he does this every time he comes in the bar.
The guy tells him his best buddy from the Army lives a long way away.
Every Friday night they both do the same thing. By ordering and drinking the two beers, it is sorta like drinking a beer together.
The barkeep thought that was a nice thing and never said anything about it again.
One night the guy walks in and only orders one beer. The barkeep
finally goes over and says, I sorry about your buddy, did he pass away ? The guy said no, he is just fine. But my wife is making me give up drinking, so I only ordered a beer for him....🙂
Comments
That calls for a rimshot!
Bob
hope it wasn't duck season...........
A dog limps into a saloon. The room gets quiet. The dog says " I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"
A wee bit early for my favorite Irish joke: An Irishman walked out of a bar.
A guy walks into a bar, carrying a dog with no legs. Guy sitting next to him asks what his dogs name is. He answers, “what does he need a name for? He can’t come if you call him”.
Horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why The Long Face"🤔
I walk into a business and the clock has a sign above it, "we have high standards we don't drink till 4 o' clock. All the numbers had 4 on them.
😃😃
A duck walks into a bar and buys the whole place a round of drinks. The duck drinks his drink and turns to leave. Bartender hollers out; "Hey!" " How you gonna pay for all this?" Duck says; " Just put it on my BILL!" 😝
A wealthy woman walks into a bar carrying her pet duck in her arms, as she walks by a drunk, he lifts his head up off of the bar and looks at her and slurs "where the hell did you get that pig? The woman looks at the drunk and replies,"That's not a pig you drunken fool, it happens to be a duck" to which the drunk replies "I was talking to the duck"
LOL, ^^^^
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking it, the monkey is running wild.
The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender is livid. "Did you see what your monkey just did?"
"No. What did he do this time?", asks the man.
"Well, he just grabbed the cue ball off the pool table, and swallowed it, whole!"
"Yeah, he eats everything in sight, the little rascal. I'll pay for everything."
The guy finishes his drink and leaves.
Two weeks later he comes back in with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again.
While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey sees a jar of maraschino cherries on the bar. He grabs a cherry, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?!", he asks.
"Yeah", replied the man. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he passed that cue ball, he measures everything first!"