MOM and DAD both hurting
Oakie
Member Posts: 40,510 ✭✭✭✭
Talked to my parents today, just to check on them. Dad tripped over a boulder in the yard and ended up twisting his ankle. He said it hurts pretty good, but the doctor said it was just a high ankle sprain. Mom got it worse. She got bit by a recluse spider and is really sick from it. Started with a sharp pain in her foot, and now all her joints are swollen and sore. Running a small fever. Doc gave her some antibiotics and prednisone. She said that since she took the prednisone, she feels a lot better in one day.
What makes me mad is, they won't ever call and tell us kids when they are hurt or sick. We usually find out second hand or have to pry stuff out of them. Both are 80, but in excellent health and look like they are in their 60's. Both should live many more years, with their health and exercise habits. Both quit smoking many years ago, thank god. I personally think they will both outlive me, which is fine. I really dread ever having to bury either one of them. We are super close and I talk to them almost every day or two. Just wish they were a little more forthcoming. Oakie
Comments
Best wishes for full recovery and quick healing.
My parents are the same way, things happen and they don't think it's worth talking about.
Pops will be 88 this year and mother is five years behind but she has dimentia.
The problem at hand is dealing with the dimentia. She has several times concocted explosive materials to put in the oven in an attempt to cook something.
My mother in law is in the same boat, but possibly a bit worse. This is all overwhelming for the wife and I to manage.
Best to you in dealing with these issues.
I understand you issues so much. I am in the same boat with my parents. Both in there 80's Dad fell off the bed standing on it to hang a picture. Didnt get hurt to badly just bruised. I talk to them twice a day, you would think they would say something. They tell my sister in Fl what is going on. When i am 3 miles down the road. Go figure. You have my sympathy an prayers
Prayers for your folks, Oakie. Darned stubborn ol' people just don't want to bother others with their aches and pains. My almost 95 year old dad is the same way. Wouldn't complain if his hair was on fire.
sorry to hear that Oakie, but sounds like they are on the rebound an gettin better now. and I hope you don't take it wrong, but do you tell your son everytime you hurt??? Your folks are just trying to keep you from worrying, enoy all the time with them you can, while you can.......
When my mom was alive, I told her she shouldn't be going down to the basement by herself. When I would call and check on her, she would casually mention how she went to the basement to get something.
I think it's their way of showing their independence.
Prayers for you all....went though the same with my folks. It is difficult to ask for help sometimes. Just cherish the times you have.
@Oakie I sympathize with you. Ended up being the care giver for my mother & aunt. We kept my aunt at home until she had to go to assisted living at 100 yrs & passed 5 mo later. Mom is 97, at home & failing. She will be going to assisted living soon, when she admits she needs to. Yes @jimdeere, she can't wait & goes down stairs by herself.
Looks like several of us are in the same boat.
I went through the same thing with my parents and step-parents. I was the caregiver for my mother and her husband until Mom started doing things to the house that we rented to them. I finally had to put her and her husband in a nursing home just to make sure they were safe and were not burning down the house.
Mom had dementia and her husband had Parkinson's. They made quite the team. All four of them are gone now. Dad had Alzheimer's disease, but he still had his sense of humor. I would go to see him every week, and ask him how he was doing. He would say "My forgetter is working just fine".
Joe
Prayers for your mom and dad.
I don’t know which is harder, getting older, or admitting your getting older.
My dad cut his hand open pretty good about a year and a half ago cutting the trailer hitch off my bumper. I don't remember wanting the hitch off... Any way he had surgery without telling my mom and I 😕
"Independence Now, Independence Forever."
John Adams
I sure hope and pray for your mom especially Oakie! I've heard horror stories about those B\R spider bites!
I sure do miss all the good times had with both my folks and my wife's folks. All are gone now and all the trials and tribulations leading up to every demise was enough to make me hope for a died in my sleep ending!
For all those experiencing tales of worry regarding your aging parents doing things like going down in the basement unattended, I once put a hefty padlock on the basement door at my Inlaws place. I kept the key to that lock with me and always asked if they needed anything down there I would come and get it for them!
Many old timers are out of pretty tough stock.No need to worry others with your problems.
Back in the early 2000's, my wife and I had to go get my grandmother from her house in Anadarko. At about 94, she had become unable to safely take care of herself......and her daughter was uninterested in helping (but that's another story).
After getting her here, the doctors told us that she had, at some previous time/years, a heart attack that went undiagnosed and untreated. After arranging her financial and medical matters, we discovered that even though she had full insurance........she had paid all of her doctor, dental, and prescription expenses in cash. Said that all the forms were too much trouble. I should mention that my granny, in her day, was quite the alpha female. That's probably why her later years were so hard for her.
Unfortunately........the following 6 months the dementia got increasingly hard for her.....and us. This resulted in her move to assisted living that specialized in dementia care. After 4 years, a full nursing care facility was required.
Granny passed after at least two strokes, about 3 months after her 100th birthday......on Easter Sunday 2009.......just as she would have wanted.
I seriously doubt I could have endured this......without the strength of my wife. Her......being an RN.....sure didn't hurt.
We came away from this with one overriding thought.
No matter how hard/tough things get........ALWAYS remember........it's NOT their fault......it's NOT your fault......it's NOT anyone's fault. It's just the way it is.
Prayers to all of us.......and our loved ones. 😔
How's the folks doing @Oakie ??
They have been taking care of themselves all these years and don't want to be a burden. They also want to go on being as young as they ever were. I get that. Best to them