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At My Age...joke.

toad67toad67 Member Posts: 13,009 ✭✭✭✭
in General Discussion

At My Age !

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 40 years later.  I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don’t have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is... ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don’t have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering.. did I send this to you, or did you send it to me??? 

 

 

 

 





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Comments

  • Merlinnv12Merlinnv12 Member Posts: 1,322 ✭✭✭✭

    I doubt that I would send anything to someone named “Toad” ! 🐸😎

    “What we’ve got here, is, failure to communicate.”
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  • bullshotbullshot Member Posts: 14,680 ✭✭✭✭
    https://forums.gunbroker.com/discussion/1911912/at-my-age-joke

    Thanks, that was a great post and .................... every word right on the mark.

    "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you"
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  • Butchdog3Butchdog3 Member Posts: 940 ✭✭✭✭

    I was born in the early 50's, Best of times no doubt.

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  • montanajoemontanajoe Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 59,955 ******
    edited June 2023

    Why you write about me??? (lol)

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  • Ditch-RunnerDitch-Runner Member Posts: 25,226 ✭✭✭✭

    very true in so many ways


    also close to home at lest for me


    I have thought about this too often

    I now have the tools and know how and even the space to do so much I wanted to do as a young fellow working on my cars and projects

    but now I have reached that point I could only have wished for when younger.

    I find now my mind is still thinking on what I want to do and how I am going to do it

    however my body just can not support even 1/2 of it on a good day

    I not complaining about being old as at least I am above ground,

    but I sure miss being younger when it comes to working

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  • pulsarncpulsarnc Member Posts: 6,489 ✭✭✭✭

    Over my lifetime I have amassed a good collection of tools . All the fancy stuff to rebuild engines with etc. Sadly , I no longer have the need or the physical stamina to do so .Nor do I have anyone to pass it on to .My son and son in law do not have the ability/ desire to make use of them . I seea.large sale in the future .

    cry Havoc and let slip  the dogs of war..... 
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