Another oldie but funny (in my opinion)
neacpa
Member Posts: 2,710 ✭✭✭
St Peter was at the pearly gate welcoming people in when a guy walked up. St Peter asked him about what happened to him. He said "Well, I live on the 6th floor of a high rise apartment building and I came home early from work. I walked in and saw some clothes that I knew were not mine, so I knew my wife was being unfaithful to me. I searched the apartment yelling and cursing but couldn't find him. Finally I looked out on the balcony and saw fingertips on the edge. So I started stomping his hands until he had to turn loose and fall. But I looked down and he had landed in some bushes and was still alive. So I looked around for something to throw at him and saw my refrigerator. I unplugged it, rolled it over and shoved it over the balcony. It hit him but I was so worked up that I had a heart attack and died right there. So here I am." St Peter said "Wow, well come on in."
A bit later Donald Trump walked up. St Peter asked "Mr. Trump, what happened to bring you here?" Trump replied "Well, I live on the 9th floor of a high rise apartment building and I decided that I had been working too much and I decided to go home early one day and exercise some. After exercising a while, I was hot and stepped out on my balcony to relax and get a bit of air. I leaned against the balcony and it broke and I started falling. On my way down I was able to grab the balcony floor on the 6th floor. As I was hanging on about to pull myself over, this raging idiot came out on the balcony yelling and cursing and stomping my hands until I lost my grip. I fell but I fortunately landed in some bushes and as I was laying there thanking God for my good fortune, I looked up and saw this refrigerator coming down. It hit me so here I am." St Peter said "Wow, a lot of unusual stuff going on today. Come on in."
Bill Clinton walked up shortly. St Peter said "Well Mr. Clinton, what brings you here?" Clinton says "Well, you probably won't believe this, but I was hiding in a refrigerator......."
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Carol, pregnant with her first child, was paying a visit to her obstetrician's office.
When the exam was over, she shyly began,
"My husband wants me to ask you......."
"I know, I know," the doctor said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I get asked this all the time. Sex is fine until late in the pregnancy."
"No, that's not it at all," Carol confessed. "He wants to know if I can still mow the lawn."
neacpa-😁😁😁