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Bill of No Rights

serfserf Member Posts: 7,536 ✭✭✭
edited March 2018 in Politics
Bill of No Rights | Greg McNeil | 1998 Download

Article I
You do not have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

Article II

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone ? not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots and probably always will be.

Article III

You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. They did not require you to take an IQ test prior to selling the device to you. Do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

Article IV

You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of couch potatoes.

Article V

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we?re just not interested in public health care.

Article VI

You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don?t be surprised if the rest of us get together and beat the crap out of you or kill you.

Article VII

You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don?t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won?t have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

Article VIII

You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won?t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you?d like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

Article IX

You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

Article X

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness ? which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those around you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

Article XI

You do not have a right to request that our Gov?t communicate to you in the language of YOUR choice. English is THE language of the United States- if you chose to live here- you must learn to communicate in English. Practicing other languages and cultural distinctions are fine for family gatherings, but failing to practice English in your everyday activities will cause you to risk the possibilities of good opportunities coming your way and not being heard.

Email this to all your friends, enemies, relatives and other reasonable people. Send, Fax, or somehow, get a copy of this to your Congress Critters, both State, and Federal.. Lets give them a message that they won?t soon forget.

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