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joke
buckeyboy
Member Posts: 5,833
[:D][:D]
Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.
The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "Whenever I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams each glass onto the bar, turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bull S%%%. I gotta go home and F$##%% the cat named TACO
Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.
The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "Whenever I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams each glass onto the bar, turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bull S%%%. I gotta go home and F$##%% the cat named TACO
Comments
This Chinese man calls his boss on morning and says " boss I no come to wok today I no feel good.
Boss says Well I dont feel gool lots of mornings , do you know what I do. I take my wife back to bed and have mad sex with her then I feel better and come to work.
Chinese man Oh no sorry boss really I no feel good.
Boss Ok then I will see you tomorrow.
About noon time that same day the chinese man calles his boss and says Chinese man Hey boss I think I come to wok now I feel much better.
Boss but i thought you were so sick.
Chinese man I was boss but I take your advise now feel much better. Thank you boss Oh boss "you have nice'a house"[:D]
"Oh, No! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He's going to be really ticked if it's not ready on time."
When she gets home, she realizes she doesn't have enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food. In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg and garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling up. She greets her husband and then watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner. To her surprise, the husband is really enjoying his dinner.
"Darling, this the best dinner you have made for me in forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day."
Needless to say, every golf day from then on, the woman made her husband the same dish. She told her golf partners about it and they were all horrified. "You're going to kill him!" they exclaimed.
Two months later, her husband died. The women were sitting around when one of them said, "You killed him! We told you that feeding him that cat food every week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly knowing you murdered your husband?"
The wife stoically replied, "I didn't kill him -- he was licking his * and fell off the window sill.[:D]