Howdy Friends
Smitty500mag
Member Posts: 13,623 ✭✭✭✭
Just had a few minutes to try to catch up and see what's going on here on the forum.
Only difference here is it just keeps getting worse. I'm still taking care of Miss June as she continues to battle this stage 4 lung and bone cancer. She has already lived longer that they predicted when it was discovered September before last. It's been a year ago this month that she came home from her spine surgery and the 2 strokes she had during surgery. She has been back in the hospital 8 times since then for an average stay of 4 days each time for complications from internal bleeding due to the blood thinner and a fall she had back last December. The only time she gets up out of bed now is to go to the bathroom and I have to put a bearhug around her waist to get her in the bathroom to keep her from falling and when her legs give out like they have on 2 occasions it's so sudden that's it's all I can do to keep her from hitting the floor. She has a port-a-pottie but she hates that thing so we'll keep going to the regular bathroom until she can't.
This week we're battling an eye infection of some sort. Took her to the doctor yesterday and they gave her some type of antibiotic eyedrops. Hopefully this will clear it up but it don't look good. She had to cancel 2 MRI's this morning on her neck due to chemo sickness and the eye infection. This chemo medicine is a killer and the throwing up goes on and on. She's thought about throwing the towel in so many times this past year and just going into hospice and dying. The pain was so bad one night last week that she pleaded with me to get her gun. All I can do is keep giving her more pain medicine and hold her and pray for her and keep encouraging her to hang on.
If anyone deserves a miracle it's her. She's been a great mother to our children and she's never had an enemy that I'm aware of. She was raised in the country in the backwoods of East Tennessee but she's not out of place in the fanciest places in the world. She whipped me into shape and that was no easy task. She's very intelligent and can do just about anything including working on cars or doing carpenter work around the house. She was one of if not the first female service managers for a large Ford Dealership in the South. She was able manage a whole service department of men which wasn't easy for a woman back in those days.
But this cancer is kicking both of our rear-ends. You can't explain to anyone what it's like. It kills your body and the chemo kills what's left of it. I'm managing to keep her weight up by giving her these shake type drinks made by Ensure with all kinds of vitamins in them including iron and many other minerals etc. Her favorite is Ensure Clear Mixed Berry. I order then on line by the case. Her blood test that she takes every month at the doctors office show results that are better than most healthy people including mine. Every result on the test is in the normal range. If it wasn't for the cancer she would be one of the most healthy women that's in her 70s any where around. It's a shame that anyone would ever have go through this dreaded disease.
Well that's what's going in our lives and it don't change much day to day except to get worse at times.
One other thing, I mentioned it before but it's worth repeating. Insurance...buy the best policy that they offer. It's expensive but nothing like it will be if you have something terrible to happen like we have. I figured having a policy that just left me owing 20% of the bill was going to be enough. When your hospital and doctor bills go over the two and a half million dollar mark like ours have this past year that leaves a big chuck of change to pay out. It's wiped our retirement out. We're down to making arrangements with the hospital to make payments and every time she goes back to the hospital it's at least another $100,000 bucks that I owe 20% on.
Comments
Thoughts and prayers and God be with you and your family.
I'm so sorry for both of you. Having cancer is bad but being the caretaker is also very hard. Prayers sent.
As I mentioned before, I am humbled by your devotion and strength. I have been through some of that when my father had cancer but nowhere close to your tribulations. I wish I could do more for the two of you but I will keep you in my prayers. Bob
prayers
Prayers and his Blessings
More Prayers
Sad to hear, but also incredibly amazed at how tough you both are! Prayers continue @Smitty500mag everyone here is pulling for you both.
Prayers continue for you and Miss June. The role of caretaker is so very rough. I know the anguish, the fear and the joy of the good days. Take care of yourself.
Smitty please talk to hospice. They are there for many, many more reasons than dying. They have amazing resources and are some of the kindest people you’d ever want to meet. They’ll walk this path with you, stay up late nights with you, cry with you and pray with you. If you need it, they’ll just quietly be there. Please. Give them a call.
Smitty, will continue to pray for you and Miss June.----------------Ray
both of you are in our thoughts and prayers
Agree 1000%, I just went thru my mothers loosing battle with cancer in August. Watching the daily pain and suffering is very, very tough and emotionally draining for the people who are not sick. The ones who are sick don't feel the amount of pain and anguish that we do.
After realizing that it was a loosing battle that she couldn't win, and the daily pain wasn't worth it, my mom agreed to call in hospice. They came the next day and got her all set up. She had daily doctor visits, as well as caregivers who took care of her personal needs. The medication that I gave her was as needed, not just on a schedule, so that she was comfortable. Once the final hours came, it was just a matter of a few days until I was by her side when she passed.
Hospice is a wonderful thing, very caring and experienced with this kind of thing. I think what gave my mom the most peace was that she was able to go on her own terms, at her own house, and not in a home or hospital.
I know it's very hard to get to that point, but once you do, it's a great relief. You can only bang your head against the wall so many times before you realize that the headache won't go away.
Prayers for you and your bride, it really is a tough row to hoe....
Prayers sent...God Bless you both.....
Prayers and best wishes for both of you Smitty.
Smitty, both June and you are in my daily prayers. I always ask God for miracles.
Terrible news again. It just keeps getting worse. At about 4:00 a.m. this morning I was trying to give her medicine to her and put the eye drops in for the eye infection and she wouldn't wake up. I called 911 and we're in the emergency room at this time and she's still not awake. They've done a CT scan to see if she has had a stroke and blood work to see if possibly her liver is not processing the pain medicine which may have gradually caused an overdose. She had 2 strokes last Oct. when they were doing the surgery on her neck to install the steel rods and cage that replaced the 2 vertebrae that had been eaten up by the cancer. Those two strokes didn't cause any permanent damage but she was never unconscious like she is now.
The doctor just came in and said they were going to admit her to the hospital. He said they needed to do MRIs to determine if she had a stroke. He said the CT scan didn't show anything and that the MRIs are better for that sort of thing. The CT scans did show that she does not have pneumonia this time. She's had it twice before during this past year.
We've been stuck in the house for over a year now battling this terrible disease and we're both about looney. All our family members are out of state and we're all alone.
We by no means were angels during our 70 plus years on earth but I can't think of anything we've done bad enough to cause this kind of punishment. God or the devil is having a field day on us. This must be the way that Job felt. I dread to see what is going to come tomorrow.
Sorry to hear this news of another set back. Let the hospital do what they do and you try to take a breather and catch up on long overdue rest. Prayers continue. Keep faith.
Prayers from here.
And fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit
While sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life
And drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche
Coming down the mountain
Prayers continue!
If you can't feel the music; it's only pink noise!
Paused for prayer.
Hello and prayers sent. Cancer is terrible. Took my dad when I was 12 and hit me 10 yrs ago. Chemo is horrible and it takes a lot of fortitude to voluntarily do that to oneself.
Smitty, my wife is in a similar situation. You and Miss June are not alone. Your friends here on the GD Forum are all praying for you and Miss June.-----------------------------Ray
Prayers for the both of you . I pray you both find the peace you so richly deserve . God's plan will work it all out in the end .I am awed and humbled by your devotion.
As usual thank you all for the prayers and well wishes. I'm proud to be a member of this forum of caring people. It really does help to hear from you guys and ladies.
Joe, I can't leave her here by herself. I went home a little earlier tonight to pick up some things that June may need to have if she wakes up and it was the most heart-wrenching thing I've ever felt. Not seeing her there just about killed me. I wouldn't sleep a wink wondering if she was alone suffering or needing something.
Last time and this time I got special permission to stay 24 hours a day from the charge nurse.
When they wouldn't let me stay but a few hours back when the virus was really bad I tried staying home but would end up sleeping in my car in the hospital parking lot before the night was over. It just didn't feel right leaving her there alone and she knew if things weren't going right all she had to do was give me a call on her cell phone and I'd be there in a minute because I was just outside the building.
It was a little different then because she was alert but now she's helpless laying here and the thoughts of going home without her being there is about more than I can bear.
We've been here at the hospital 9 times this past year and a lot of the nurses know our name and know I'm not going to get in their way. I try to make their job easier by getting stuff she needs like drinks or to take her to the bathroom and they are good with that plus June doesn't have to wait to get a drink or go to the bathroom but right now I feel helpless because she's not awake and all I can do is watch and listen to make sure she doesn't quit breathing.
We're a team we've been together for 54 years and we've never been a part for over one week during that whole time. When I was on the road working in later years we only had our youngest son at home with us by that time and she homeschooled him so we all traveled together like a band of gypsies rolling down the highway. Those were good times.
Are they allowing you to stay with her in her room? I sure hope so.
Yes Joe the last 2 visits here at the hospital I've stayed in her room around the clock. Only going home for a couple of hours for a quick shower and a change of cloths.
Prayers sent
Sorry to hear this hang in there Smitty.