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Post Your Groaner!
Mercury
Member Posts: 7,830 ✭✭✭
If you have a favorite REALLY bad joke, now is the time to post it!
Merc
Comments
A Dummy Load for Polar axis alignment… y'
I once knew a guy who suffered from Opti-rectum-itis.
He had a crappy outlook on life!
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I was once addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
A doctor walks into a woodworking shop. He finds the woodworker, asks him "Do you make all these yourself?" The woodworker says yes, he does. The doctor continues, "Because I'm looking for some backless chairs for my office and I don't see any on the floor. I'm not ready to buy yet, so I'm going to need a stool sample."
APPLEBEE'S 😲
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
El-if-ino
What do you get when you cross a donkey with a jar of peanut butter?
A piece of (donkey) that sticks to the roof of your mouth!
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I asked the wife what she wanted for her birthday, she smiled and said. “Something new and shiny, and will go from 0 to 80 in under 10 seconds”. So I bought her a bathroom scale.
😁
what do you call a nun that sleep walks
A Roman Catholic
Walt, how many day was it before you were able to see the wifie?
Why'd the rifle take a day off from work? Because it was feeling under the Weatherby.
The most popular firearm brand in Australia is the KangaRuger.
I like Indian food. My favorites are Tikka Masala and Saag Sauer.
🇺🇲 "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson 🇺🇲
I got an email the other day… It said "Your computer has been infected by the Amish Virus….Please delete all your files…
Thank Thee……
Merlinlv12, I heard that one in about 1966. You are either about as old as I or it's got a lot of staying power.
Well, I was 1 year outa high school in ‘66. I love peanut butter!
'59 for me. If the peanut butter is sticking to the roof of your mouth you are eating it wrong!
There is no excuse for this.
There is an excuse for everything! There may even be one for you.😜😜
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A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says “we don’t serve string here” and throws him out. The string really wants a drink so he draws on a mustache and walks back in and orders a beer. The bartender says “I told you we don’t serve string here” and kicks the string out again. Desperate for a drink, the string starts flailing himself on the ground, rolling over and over, inside and out. Exhausted, he walks back into the bar, pounds on the bar top and yells “whiskey”. The bartender looks at the now discheveled string and says “aren’t you that piece of string that I keep throwing out of here?” The string looks the bartender in the eye and says “no, I’m a frayed knot”.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why The Long Face"🙄
The bartender looks up and says, “we don’t serve time travelers here!”
A time traveler walks into a bar.
🇺🇲 "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." - Thomas Jefferson 🇺🇲
Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood!
Two commies walk into a BAR,,,
Not likely.
I just have to add it
this one is as old as time itself
Why did the chicken cross the road
For any one born yesterday, the answer is to get to the other side
I could post some of old Rodney dangerfield one linets. I wilwager most all on here have heard them all any way He was on top of the game on one liner groners
His funeral is on Saturday. LOL 🤣
He may have needed an A-hole ectomy.
I hit a turkey with my truck. It flipped up and over and landed on the car behind me. It was a cop. He pulled me over and gave me a ticket for flipping him the bird.
I always thought it was "rectal optimosis", a condition that exist when the rectal nerve gets crossed with the optic nerve thus giving one a crappy outlook on life.
What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion?——————————————
Any taker for this one?
Mods will not like answer but it has something to do with bringing tears to your eyes.
These three Irishmen walk past a bar……
yeah if the bar was closed………………
and they were blind!
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