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Humorous Ponderables
p3skyking
Member Posts: 25,750 ✭
>
> 1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze
> these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
> 2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken here? I'm gonna
eat
> the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
>
> 3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
> 4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?
>
> 5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
>
> 6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't
> point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
> 7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are
> going to look up there anyway?
>
> 8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're
> both
> dogs!
>
> 9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why
> didn't
> he just buy dinner?
>
> 10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
> 11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
> vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>
> 12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
>
> 13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same
> tune?
>
> 14. Stop singing and read on..........
>
> 15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
> 16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at
> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
> window?
>
> 17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?
>
> 18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
>
> 1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze
> these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
>
> 2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken here? I'm gonna
eat
> the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
>
> 3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
>
> 4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?
>
> 5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
>
> 6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but
don't
> point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
>
> 7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are
> going to look up there anyway?
>
> 8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're
> both
> dogs!
>
> 9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why
> didn't
> he just buy dinner?
>
> 10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
>
> 11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
> vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
>
> 12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
>
> 13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same
> tune?
>
> 14. Stop singing and read on..........
>
> 15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
>
> 16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at
> you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the
> window?
>
> 17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?
>
> 18. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
>
Comments
and which Monte Python had "testecles" the roman soldier in it?
I like #10
and which Monte Python had "testecles" the roman soldier in it?
Uh, I though his name was Biggus Diccus, and his wife's name was Incontinentia?
If "pro" is the opposite of "con", and "progress" is "moving forward", what is "Congress"?
If people from Philadelphia are called Philadelphans and those from Chicago are known as Chicagans, what are people from Tampa called? [:0]
a$$h0les
impregnable?
insurmountable?
inconceivable?
unbearable?
Pete
My wife is no longer able to bear children. Does this make her:
impregnable?
insurmountable?
inconceivable?
unbearable?
Pete
Sounds like it makes her a lot more fun than my wife... good Catholic gurl that she is.
How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
What's another word for Thesaurus?
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Thanks to Steven Wright..