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Infidelity?

mcneely77mcneely77 Member Posts: 411 ✭✭✭
edited August 2002 in General Discussion
This is the situation. A man and a woman have been married for 30 years. They dearly love each other. She went through a life change not to long ago. More importantly she has a medical condition where scar tissue makes love making uncomfortable and even painful sometimes. This man dearly loves his wife, however, he now has a girlfriend. The relationship with this girl is strictly sexual. He has no feelings for her other than friendship. He loves his wife, but says that this is the only way the two of them could stay together. What do you think?

Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.

IALEFI, ASLET, NRA, and proud owner of a pair of S&W revolvers.
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Comments

  • Harleeman1030Harleeman1030 Member Posts: 1,505 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Quit cheating on your wife and go home lmao

    Harleeman1030@aol.com

    Be quiet honey i know what i am doing ...
    !!!!!KaBOOM!!!!!
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  • bama55bama55 Member Posts: 6,389 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Quit cheating on your wife and go home lmao

    Harleeman1030@aol.com

    I agree.



    Don't send flowers when I die. Send money now, I can buy more ammo.
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  • snarlgardsnarlgard Member Posts: 1,310 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    imagine how the wife would feel if she found out

    SMILE...MAKE EM WONDER WHAT YOUR UP TO
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  • pickenuppickenup Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    No good can come of it in the end. No way, No how.

    If I knew then, what I know now.
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  • E.WilliamsE.Williams Member Posts: 1,101 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If she is already in bad shape this wont do anything but make it worse and make her feel even worse for not being able to do that more for her Husband.After 30 years I think he can find a way to handle that "appetite"his Wife can do more for him than just intercourse if you know what Im saying.True enough its not the same but good enough to keep you faithful.

    Eric S. Williams

    Edited by - E.Williams on 08/21/2002 01:48:51
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  • ccasey612ccasey612 Member Posts: 901 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Love should overcome all. Cheating is cheating regardless of feelings.

    If you will blame gun makers for every shooting then blame car maker for every car accident.
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  • Jungle JimJungle Jim Member Posts: 264 ✭
    edited November -1
    What if the roles were reversed, and the man had the problem and the woman didn't? Would she turn to another man? If so, would that be acceptable to him?

    The Clinton "permissive society" attitude that was in place when he was in office has been thrown out (good riddance) and family values taken its place. (as it should be).

    If the man loved his wife he wouldn't steal! Yes, cheating is stealing - not acceptable behavior in my opinion.

    Jim

    "De Oppresso Liber"
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  • Shootist3006Shootist3006 Member Posts: 4,171
    edited November -1
    quote: quote:
    Quit cheating on your wife and go home lmao

    Harleeman1030@aol.com



    I agree.

    I agree in duplicate.

    Quod principi placuit legis habet vigorem.Semper Fidelis
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  • CWatsonCWatson Member Posts: 964 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Never do to another what you wouldn't want done to you,plus YOU HAVE GUNS IN THE HOUSE!

    A near miss is still a miss!

    Wasn't me.......!
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  • agloreaglore Member Posts: 6,012
    edited November -1
    Sure see a lot of Pro-constitutionalist being hypocritical on this issue. What ever happened to Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness.

    AlleninAlaska

    He who dares not offend cannot be honest.
    -- Thomas Paine
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  • Shootist3006Shootist3006 Member Posts: 4,171
    edited November -1
    quote:Sure see a lot of Pro-constitutionalist being hypocritical on this issue. What ever happened to Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness.

    Ever hear of wedding vows? Words like love, honor cherish, forsaking all others???

    Got nothing to do with the constitution - BTW Life Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness have nothing to do with the constitution either!!

    Quod principi placuit legis habet vigorem.Semper Fidelis
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  • agloreaglore Member Posts: 6,012
    edited November -1
    Putz tell me where I said it was in the Constitution. I know that it is in the Declaration of Independence. But the same principle pertains to all of you who think that the Govt. has no right to make anti-gun laws. This man has the same right to do as he wishes as you do to have your firearm of choice.

    AlleninAlaska

    He who dares not offend cannot be honest.
    -- Thomas Paine
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  • Shootist3006Shootist3006 Member Posts: 4,171
    edited November -1
    quote:Sure see a lot of Pro-constitutionalist being hypocritical on this issue. What ever happened to Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness

    From the context it is clear that you equated life, liberty etc. with the constitution. I will agree that this man has the right. We all have the freedom to commit wrong but having the right to do something does not make doing it right.

    When he wed, it was (and is) a contract between the two of them, why would anyone assume that one party has the 'right' to unilaterally void that contract?

    This has nothing to do with government, no one is saying that he ought to be arrested. It has to do with right and wrong (an area in which government is grossly unqualified).

    Quod principi placuit legis habet vigorem.Semper Fidelis
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  • agloreaglore Member Posts: 6,012
    edited November -1
    Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness are considered to be unalienable rights as are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution.



    AlleninAlaska

    He who dares not offend cannot be honest.
    -- Thomas Paine
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  • DancesWithSheepDancesWithSheep Member Posts: 12,938 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I feel sorry for Tipper.

    Why does man kill? He kills for food. But not only for food; frequently, he must have a beverage.
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  • Shootist3006Shootist3006 Member Posts: 4,171
    edited November -1
    quote: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness are considered to be unalienable rights as are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution.

    By whom are they so considered? And does the simple act of consideration make them so? If they are to be considered as unalienable rights, why did the founding fathers - after proclaiming them in the Declaration of independence - fail to include them in the constitution or the Bill of Rights?

    However, even if life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are inalienable rights, does that mean he would be right to break his vows, to void the contract he has made? Does having the right to do something make doing it right, even if doing it
    breaks a solemn vow? voids the social contract? causes pain to another?

    Not in my book!

    Quod principi placuit legis habet vigorem.Semper Fidelis
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  • twinstwins Member Posts: 647 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Cheating is cheating. To me it would not matter if the spouse knows.
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  • dads-freeholddads-freehold Member Posts: 1,361 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    greetings, good lord man have you never read the declaration of independance? we hold these TRUTHS to be self evedent...that man is endowled by his creator with life , liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. i remember the children of isreal ready to stone moses for taking a blk. wife and the lord opened up the earth and swallowed them up. as a libertarian i believe all things are lawfull, but as a evangel' i know not all things are expedient. let me ask you'll if you put a candy vendor in your child's room then told them they couldn't have sweets, would that be just? it is the same with sex, if it wasn't important why is it biological? respt submitted dads-freehold
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  • E.WilliamsE.Williams Member Posts: 1,101 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I dont think its so much rather its Constitutionally right as much a case of descency for someone who just spent 30 years of their life with you.Like I said in my reply up top there are ways to handle your "appetite" without cheating.When my wife was pregnant with both our kids we didnt have intercourse for the whole 9 months.Did I go without satisfaction?HELL NO! We made do and she kept me hanging on.We came to a "oral" agreement so to speak.

    Eric S. Williams
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  • twinstwins Member Posts: 647 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sex is only necessary for the survival of the species, not the individual. If they have been married for thirty years, the species part is most likely REMOVED. I am not saying it is not an integral part of a relationship, just that it is not necessary. Love does not mean sex.
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    "He loves his wife, but says that this is the only way the two of them could stay together. What do you think?"

    This man has no respect, nor any feelings for his wife...did he only marry her for the sex? Its not a "spite" thing with the wife...withholding sex to get what she wants.... its a medical condition...
    I could understand if it was a case of her withholding it for some assinine reason, or saying they are "too old"... but I cannot understand why a person who claims to love the spouse, will cheat when a medical condition is the cause for no intercourse...When he married her I am sure he repeated the vow, "in sickness and in health, etc..
    It seems to me he is just using that as an excuse to screw around..if the roles were reversed, you can almost bet the husband would kick his wife out if she was the one with a boyfriend... Some people will use any excuse possible to justify their actions..


    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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  • Harleeman1030Harleeman1030 Member Posts: 1,505 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    What the Lord has brought together let no man put asunder(sp) is that right ??????????

    Harleeman1030@aol.com

    Be quiet honey i know what i am doing ...
    !!!!!KaBOOM!!!!!
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  • twinstwins Member Posts: 647 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Apparently not for some, it must depend on your feelings at the time your whoremones are doing the thinking.
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  • gruntledgruntled Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    No one even mentioned how unfair this might be to the other woman if she doesn't know & consent to being used only for his sexual gratifacation. He is being a cad to both women. Besides he should have known that there is no such thing as sex after marriage.
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  • marinebadgermarinebadger Member Posts: 115 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I agree with the majority opinion here.
    Just because we have free will does not mean that anything we
    CAN do is right, good and true.
    I can go out and kill someone. I could make that choice. Is that
    the right choice to make? No. Could I think of some way to
    justify it in my little brain? Yeah, say, if my wife were cheating
    on me I might want to kill the guy or her. That doesn't make it
    right.
    Whatever happened to character and inner strength?

    "Whoremones"....punny, Twins
    Welcome DancesWithSheep. That is what I call Kevin Costner!

    "a Freudian slip is when you say one thing and mean amother"
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  • Harleeman1030Harleeman1030 Member Posts: 1,505 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Any woman who has sex with a married man should be tied up and let the married women do unto her what she will sorry i have strong feelings about this have seen to many people have no respect for themselves

    Harleeman1030@aol.com

    Be quiet honey i know what i am doing ...
    !!!!!KaBOOM!!!!!
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  • njretcopnjretcop Member Posts: 7,975
    edited November -1
    Harleeman, I like the way you think. I asked Mrs NJRETCOP to tie me up and have her way with me.

    She called me a kinky old pervert and told me to go back to reading dirty magazines and leave her alone.

    Charlie

    "It's the stuff dreams are made of Angel"NRA Certified Firearms InstructorMember: GOA, RKBA, NJSPBA, NJ area rep for the 2ndAMPD. njretcop@copmail.com
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  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,085 ******
    edited November -1
    It is good to see that so many of us maintain solid values.

    People can rationalize anything they want to do badly enough, but a deal is a deal. You sign on for the duration, and it is an exclusive contract.

    SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the best gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net
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  • Brth729Brth729 Member Posts: 1,231 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Personally I think it's wrong for one to have at it with someone other than the one they chose to be with. I learned a good many things from my parents, and one of them was " 'til DEATH do us part". I don't see how it would, or could be acceptible, regardless of the situation. And to borrow a line frum Mudge:

    Brth the lifer.

    ***I'm in the hi-fidelity first class travelling section I think I need a Leer jet***
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  • William81William81 Member Posts: 25,472 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    There are consequences for every action. Nothing good could come from the extra-martial affair. It is still called adultry no matter how you package it.

    Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....
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  • IconoclastIconoclast Member Posts: 10,515 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Leaving aside the detour into the discussion of the Declaration, I can only echo what others have said: (a) it is morally and ethically wrong to the wife and probably the second woman - recognizing that the latter may in fact know the situation and could herself be involved in the relationship for the physical gratification alone (b) there are other techniques (c) the man seems to have forgotten his marriage vows &/or is a selfish __________ (several non-PG terms seem applicable). I'm not going to get into details, but I've been in situations where I could have been "the other man" in similar circumstances and walked away. Some things are just plain wrong. This is one of them.
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  • muleymuley Member Posts: 1,583 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    mcneely77.....OK, you've got the opinions you asked for. Good ones, too. Now, go home to your wife. Supper is waiting.
    muley

    **I love the smell of Hoppes #9 in the morning**
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  • offerorofferor Member Posts: 8,625 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    aglore --
    It is easy to explain why you are totally wrong on this. Your rights end where another's begins. Trust is all-important in human relationships. If you have the other party's knowledge and permission, fine. But I'll bet it's a secret. You are attempting to do what a lot of people do for their own convenience -- misconstrue the language of a law to your own selfish benefit.

    If you need "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" in this way, all you have to do is the right thing -- tell her first, and leave the one before taking up with another. People have to learn to change partners like aerialists use the trapeze -- let go of the one bar and fly a bit before grabbing hold of the next. A trapeze artist that tries to hang onto both at once -- dangles in the middle, and rightfully so. How many of us hate a woman that "always has to have a man?" That "can't be alone for a second." That keeps and uses a guy while she's already taking up with the next one. Same thing. That's not the pursuit of happiness -- WHEN IT HAPPENS TO YOU. Then it feels selfish and cruel. I rest my case.

    As for the man with the problem, see your doctor. He can help. If you love your wife, you aren't going to respect yourself as much for fooling around on her, and the doctor can recommend several helpful measures for you.

    - Life NRA Member
    "If cowardly & dishonorable men shoot unarmed men with army guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary...and not by general deprivation of constitutional privilege." - Arkansas Supreme Court, 1878
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  • timberbeasttimberbeast Member Posts: 1,738 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Well, I suppose if my wife a quadraplegic, it would give me a good excuse to betray her love. NOT!!!! Someone may have said this previously, as I did not read every word of the thread, but the "pursuit of happiness" was intended as "the right to own property and to earn money." Life and liberty are a given, to any free-minded person. Anyone has the right to engage in sexual relations with whomever thay choose, whether married or not. Having that right does not make it right. It's rupugnant. I got married because I'm in love, and I'll sacrifice my life for my wife. To sacrifice sex would not be pleasant, but I would. I'm in this thing for the long run. Far as I'm concerned, the men just got separated from the boys. I know which one I see when I look in the mirror.
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  • competentonecompetentone Member Posts: 4,696 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Gosh, nobody has suggested "menage a trois" as a solution?

    Seriously, there are deeper issues here. It is likely the woman's "scar tissue" issue could be resolved medically--the fact that she doesn't seek such a solution, or seek gratifying experiences for herself and her partner without actual intercourse, indicates other problems.

    And I doubt that he is pursuing the other woman "just for sex"--I suspect it's quite a little "power trip" for him--"He's got himself two women!"
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  • 4GodandCountry4GodandCountry Member Posts: 3,968
    edited November -1
    If your not going to honor your word then what is the point of giving it. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Do what you know in your heart to be the right thing and you will be a better man for it.

    When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
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  • tin22tin22 Member Posts: 731 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I agree with you blackrose. His wife would be dearly crush if she heard about this. Can you really look at yourself and hold your head up for doing this to your wife.
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  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 51,593 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    He made a promise. He broke it. Why is that hard to figure out? It may be human, but that doesn't make it OK.

    A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand
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  • agloreaglore Member Posts: 6,012
    edited November -1
    I do not support what this thread is about. I have been faithfully married for just over 23 years. Would never cheat on my wife. I was just making a point that there are those that think they have any GOD given right to own any firearm they want when the constitution does not say they can own any firearm they want and on the same hand deny this man the same unalienable rights. Can't have your cake and eat it too, it's just un-american.

    AlleninAlaska

    [ur]http://www.outdoor-o-rama.com[/url]
    He who dares not offend cannot be honest.
    -- Thomas Paine



    Edited by - aglore on 08/21/2002 15:23:22
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  • allen griggsallen griggs Member Posts: 35,690 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If the woman cannot live up to her wifely duties it is ok for the man to seek comfort outside of the marriage. It is not too hard to find a relationship with a younger woman which both partners know is for sex only. I can't see how a man who isn't getting any is going to be happy, marriage or no marriage.

    "Not as deep as a well, or as wide as a church door, but it is enough."
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