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Would you take your wifes last name?

WagionWagion Member Posts: 2,464 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited February 2004 in General Discussion
If you where marrying a gal would you change your last name to her last name if she ask you? (When you first got married)

What do you think about Hyphenated names?

I think some people are going a little too far with that now it is like going back in time "Yes my name is Julie Walker-Smith-Plako-Wilsom"


If force ain't work'n... Your not use'n nough of it.
I know the spelling is bad but guess what I DON'T CARE
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  • jjmitchell60jjmitchell60 Member Posts: 3,887
    edited November -1
    No Way shape or form! If you knew what her maiden name was you would understand![;)] It took her till the third grade just to learn to spell it![:D] Her great-grandfather came from Germany through Ellis Island and the true spelling of their last name got lost in the translation! I will stick with Mitchell, a good Scottish, English, and IrIsh name that originated whith the Vikings when they invaded Scotland![8D]

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
    Rita Mae Brown
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  • bambihunterbambihunter Member Posts: 10,792 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    No. I am against hyphenated names too, but only in regard to kids. What happens if you then name the kid the hyphenated name then they get married to a person with a hypenated name your kid could have a name like:

    Alan Michael Jeffreys-Smith Jones-McCoy

    You see where I'm going. (kinda like Wagion's comments) If my wife wanted to keep her maiden name I probably wouldn't have liked it, but would have accepted it - especially if she is in public view like a movie star or even local TV or politician.
    Fanatic collector of the 10mm auto.
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  • rldowns3rldowns3 Member Posts: 6,096
    edited November -1
    I can only speak for myself in this matter, but I would not take my wife's last name. She has yet to change her last name from her previous marriage so I'd be stuck with her ex-husbands (who's an *) last name....

    2nd, call me a traditionalist, sexist, or whatever but, it is my opinion that because traditionally, in any culture (that I know of) the male has always been the protector and warrior of the family and it makes sense to me that anybody he marries or produces in the marriage should carry his surname.

    I also view the "giving" of the surname as a sign of love and the acceptance of the surname as a sign of love and acceptance of him into your new lives togeather. He can offer but only she can accept. And I think her right to accept or reject is basically the ultimate power in the end-all of human society. Because, guys, let's face it, if a woman dosen't want you in marriage your potential genetic contribution to humanity will never be brought forth and she's probably got plenty of other potential suiters.

    To hyphenate the name to me would be kind of insulting, in some way rejecting the fact that you are "offering" your love, protection, and place in your heart. It's like saying, "yea I kind of like the idea of being in your life and kinda don't". PICK A FRICKEN NAME, LADY!

    This is my view on the subject.

    Does it make any sense or was I babbling?

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  • Big Sky RedneckBig Sky Redneck Member Posts: 19,752 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nope, my name stays the same! I would like to change my first name legally but not sure how to go about doing it.

    I wonder, in the freak marriages(gays) who does the name changing?

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  • ZERODINZERODIN Member Posts: 6,338
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by 7mm nut
    I wonder, in the freak marriages(gays) who does the name changing?


    Okay, my flame suit is on for this one: In same-sex marriages, the only name that gets changed is the name of the union between a man and a woman.

    That said, I would not change my last name. It is simple, common, and indeed boring, but it still means a lot to me, and I'm proud to have it. I would prefer a woman to take it, but if she has a "better" name she's free to keep it. I just won't change mine, especially since I'm the only one there is who can carry it on to the next generation.
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  • crims40crims40 Member Posts: 1,107 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:No. I am against hyphenated names too, but only in regard to kids. What happens if you then name the kid the hyphenated name then they get married to a person with a hypenated name your kid could have a name like:

    Alan Michael Jeffreys-Smith Jones-McCoy
    I agree...Especially in the case of marriages in the deep south when the kids name could be something like: Billy-Bob McCoy-McCoy-McCoy-McCoy....[:D][;)]
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  • njretcopnjretcop Member Posts: 7,975
    edited November -1
    If'n you guys ever had to go through changing your last name, ya would never even think about doing it!

    Mrs njretcop and I married almost four years ago and the change still has been completed. She gets some mail every day under her maiden name.

    When you are older and marrying again, it's even worse!

    njretcop@copmail.com

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    Charlie
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  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,524 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    No way.
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    Women dont have their own last name..never have, they(last names) have always belonged to another male...so in reality you arent taking her name, you are taking her fathers name...

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    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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  • ArmaliteA4ArmaliteA4 Member Posts: 489 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    no.......
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  • gskyhawkgskyhawk Member Posts: 4,773
    edited November -1
    NO
    if i did there would be 3 of us with the same name, her dad , her nephew and me , thank god her dad goes by Dick instead of Richard , her nephew uses Ricky and I'm always Richard or Rich ( several other names if she's P.O. at me )LOL

    BR very good point
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  • flat8flat8 Member Posts: 887 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Not a chance!
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  • 4GodandCountry4GodandCountry Member Posts: 3,968
    edited November -1
    If the price was right, maybe, but, I doubt I could live with the type of woman that would ask you to do such a thing. She'd have to look like Claudia Shiffer, be rich and build me an indoor/outdoor shooting range equiped with anything and everything I wanted. If she met all that criteria she could call me just about anything she wanted.

    "Neca eos omnes. Deus suos agnoscet."
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    Same could go for a woman...only HE would have to look like Tom Cruise maybe?...rich, give us anything we wanted, and learn how to treat a woman...*LOL

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    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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  • VarmintmistVarmintmist Member Posts: 1,074 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nope, I asked, she accepted, its part of the package. She brought up the question of keeping her last name, and I told her that we didn't need to get married for her to keep her last name. She changed it.

    Those people who see nothing but grey areas, no black and white, are lost in the fog.
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  • hawkeye6020hawkeye6020 Member Posts: 2,517 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    nope, I'm just old fashioned that way. so was my wife, the subject never came up

















    "Life is not a journey to the grave wtih the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body,

    But rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming

    -WOW- WHAT A RIDE!!!!!"
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  • whiteclouderwhiteclouder Member Posts: 10,574 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nope.

    Ya think, maybe, people with hyphenated names aren't quite sure who the daddy is?

    Clouder..
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  • Horse Plains DrifterHorse Plains Drifter Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 40,237 ***** Forums Admin
    edited November -1
    The subject never came up in our outfit, but the answer would be no.

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    81st FA BN WWII...Thanks Dad
    U!S!A! ALL THE WAY!!
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  • Colt SuperColt Super Member Posts: 31,007 ✭
    edited November -1
    SP - sooo... you would both pick a new name, different from your present name(s)?

    I like that. I think next time I'll be Doug Darth-Vader.

    God Bless America and...
    NEVER Forget WACO
    NEVER, EVER Forget 911
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  • NighthawkNighthawk Member Posts: 12,022 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    To me this is a serious question,if a woman doesnt love me enough to give up her maiden name Im sure I can find one that will.Ive talked to my wife about people doing alot of keeping or adding their maiden name.She believes as I do when you marry you become one.She feels as strongly about the topicas I do.

    Rugster


    "Toujours Pret"
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  • 2 gun2 gun Member Posts: 377 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nope .Wouldn't even marry a women if she asked me to allow it.My wife is proud of OUR last name .It is the same for her and my son.A family devided will fall.

    IT "S better to die by fire then serve by force

    It's not gun control. It's personal defense elimination. They only want to control ours.
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  • bsallybsally Member Posts: 3,165
    edited November -1
    No no no no no no. Get the point. This is one area where I am very traditional.

    SALLY
    Committee member-Ducks Unlimited
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  • mudgemudge Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Which one? Her maiden name? 1st husband, 2nd husband?
    I took all 3 and covered 'em up with mine.[:D]

    Hyphenated names indicate to me that the woman is afraid she'll "lose" her identity if she uses only her husband's name.
    IMHO it's a "security" thing. "I'm not really that committed to this relationship, so I'll only go half way."

    Mudge the psychologist

    I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
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  • gun_runnergun_runner Member Posts: 8,999
    edited November -1
    No way, No how, Ever.........

    Larry
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    And a woman can say the same flippin thing....

    I dont love a man enough if I wont take HIS name?...but by the same token, he cant love me enough if he wont take my name or makes me give up mine...
    Traditional???? bull tweet...its an ego thing

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    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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  • whiteclouderwhiteclouder Member Posts: 10,574 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I call mine "Hey you." She seems okay with it.

    Clouder..
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  • Colt SuperColt Super Member Posts: 31,007 ✭
    edited November -1
    It's NOT her name - it's her father's and grangfather's +++.

    God Bless America and...
    NEVER Forget WACO
    NEVER, EVER Forget 911
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  • .280 freak.280 freak Member Posts: 1,942 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    BlackRoses -

    Not overly concerned with the whole "whose name should a married couple use" debate, myself (personal choice between a married couple), but there is one comment by you that really sticks out.

    You have stated in this thread, and in at least a few other threads, as I recall, something to the effect of "Women don't have their own name, they just have the name of their father".

    My question to you would be, so what? How does that differ from men also having their father's name? In other words, you, a female, have your father's name, and I, a male, also have my father's name. I fail to see the distinction.

    I realize, of course, that you are talking about it in the context of who changes their name and who doesn't, but still, ..........

    Seems like kind of a moot point.
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  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427 ✭
    edited November -1
    That point should stick out..Your name never gets changed...its stays....and I for one am glad that a woman has the option of keeping her maiden name if she so desires...
    I realize it is hard for a man to understand how some women feel about the subject, but try to put yourself in the female role for a minute...
    Girl is born with the last name smith...gets married...now its jones...maybe gets married the second time, now its brown, and so on..

    Boy is born with the last name smith...gets married..now its smith...maybe gets married the second time,...its still smith...he dies...still smith..


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    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
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  • SilverBoxSilverBox Member Posts: 2,347 ✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by Wagion
    If you where marrying a gal would you change your last name to her last name if she ask you? (When you first got married)


    Depends on how rich she is..
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  • dheffleydheffley Member Posts: 25,000 ✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Would you take your wifes last name?

    No.

    How you doin'!wolf_evil_smile_md_wht.gif
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  • chunkstylechunkstyle Member Posts: 2,463 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Actually, this topic came up when I got married. Seems her family's name isn't the original one, it was changed on Ellis Island. So we discussed changing it to the original, "Halennen". This name was Lappish Finn, from way north of the Arctic Circle, and my wife looks it, too, built like a Laplander. I thought it was pretty cool, so why not? Then the "why nots" came clear, changing all the names in all the documents, bank accounts, retirement, stock certificates, address books (of our friends), ad infinitum. So, in the end, we both kept our father's names. Just lazy, I guess.

    In retrospect, imagine if I had become Mr. "Van Halennen"... NOT.

    "Go to Lakedaemon, stranger passing by;
    And say there, that in obedience to her law, here we lie"
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  • chappsynychappsyny Member Posts: 3,381 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I would never marry a feminist so this question wouldn't even come up. Prior to our wedding last September I told my wife that she either takes my name or there isn't going to be a wedding. She had planned to all along, but I didn't want there to be any issues there.

    New Hampshire, USA - "Live Free or Die!!!"
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  • pickenuppickenup Member Posts: 22,844 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nope

    The gene pool needs chlorine.
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  • maboogermabooger Member Posts: 685 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Never even thought about it with either marriage. I automatically took my husband's name.

    It does get alittle confusing with medical & school things for all our kids

    My kids have their father's last name & Pa's kids have the same as me -- your should see them at the orthodontist office when I try to straighten out insurance problems.
    Same thing with teachers they refer to me as "mom" to Tim's kids because I'm the one involved in all the activities & the meetings, etc.

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  • Rebel_JamesRebel_James Member Posts: 4,746
    edited November -1
    No, I wouldn't.

    And for crims. You've been watching "The Waltons" reruns too much. I've lived in the Deep South, in Georgia, all my life. I know only one person that goes by a 'double name.'

    Yeah, it's one of those names you listed...Billy Bob. He owns the funeral home on the other side of the hill behind my house. His given real name is William Robert.



    "If they won't give us good terms, come back and we'll fight it out."
    -- Gen. James Longstreet
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  • gunpaqgunpaq Member Posts: 4,607 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I only wish my ex would take back here maiden name but I guess using my last name gets her more places than her maiden name of Satan.[:0]

    Pack slow, fall stable, pull high, hit dead center.
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  • WagionWagion Member Posts: 2,464 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    OK here is a twist for ya maybe I ask this question becasue I hate my last name my Dad was a real POS, SOB, dirt bag, women / kid beater and other worse things. I used my mom's maidan name through school until I got to high school and I had to start to use my "real" last name becasue of some teacher saying I was using an allias and confusing everyone.
    Anyway when I get married I would like to change my last name to either my Mom's last name or take my wifes last name. Prefrece would be to change it to my Mom's maidan which would also allow that name to continue since there are no males in the famliy with that last name and it is an old Slovakian name that is unusal enough that I have never seen it anywhere else and I like it and it's literal transltion

    If force ain't work'n... Your not use'n nough of it.
    I know the spelling is bad but guess what I DON'T CARE
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  • rldowns3rldowns3 Member Posts: 6,096
    edited November -1
    Then apply for a change of name and go from there. Or you can be creative, mabye change your name to Peter Gozinya, or Hugh Jass, mabye even Mike Hunt?

    aliens.jpg
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  • jjmitchell60jjmitchell60 Member Posts: 3,887
    edited November -1
    Rebel_James, I have lived in the hills of KY my entire life except when I was in service and I have gone by a double name all my life. I have always been called Jimmy Joe and it is not even my Christian name! I know of several in my area called Jim Bob, Bobby Joe, Jimmy Lee, Jim Ed, and others. The Waltons did not coin the double name, it was around long before them! BR is correct in a womans name, it is there fathers name in most cases and the mothers maiden name gets lost in history. A name is just that, a name. It is the person who makes a name a good one or a bad one. As to hyphenated names, most kids do not care what their last name is as long as they have loveing parents! Just my 2 cents worth.

    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.
    Rita Mae Brown
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