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"If a light sleeper sleeps with a light on, does a hard sleeper sleep with a hard on?""If they cross that river baptis them in it"(John Wayne in the Train Robbers)
"This mess is a result of your very BEST thinking.""If we must have a battle of witts, let me empty my head so we can start even.""If you don't tell anyone about my wooden *ick, I won't say anything about the splinters in your mouth.""The dress doesn't make you look big... it's your butt.""Let me guess... you took the short bus to school didn't you?""Your inner child is kinda running the whole show huh?""You should see a doctor about that cranial-rectal inversion." ( Head up your As$)"The only rational solution to your situation is suiside."" *sniff* Ewww! I can smell that lie like a fart in a car.""Your family tree didn't fork did it?"From the top of my head... more later.christian
If I wanted any lip from you Id rattle my zipper.. Dont make me beat ya like your grandpa shouda Kidd
Politicians Love Gun Control / China Has Gun Control
That guy's such a big liar, if they gave him the truth serum he wouldn't be able to talk for a week.If you even had a dream about kickin' my * you'd call me in the morning to apologize.
Lord Lowrider the LoquaciousMember:Secret Select Society of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets She was only a fisherman's daughter,But when she saw my rod she reeled.
as my Pa told me, too many times... "If you don't use your head, you're gonna use your feet." Every time I go back for a tool or something I need to finish a job, those words replay in my hollow head.
" Yes I smoked one, once. But, I did not inhale" The 42nd. President of the United States of America.Tideman
"Don't shoot to stop 'em, Shoot to Destroy 'em!"
Well, to clear everyone's palate from the aforementioned politician (...uuhhh, yeah, you know what I mean...), back to a statesman, Churchill.Woman to Churchill: "If you were my husband, I would surely poison your tea!"Churchill: "Madame, If I were your husband, I would surely drink it."
In my line of work I hear many stories as to why a person got into trouble. When I sence things are being represented in a dishonest way I simple say to the client..."Ok it's your lie, Make it a good one."This usually brings a smile to their face and gets them back on track.The other line I use quite often with young people/Teenagers I am attempting to interview. When I start getting that "up yours" attitude, I reach in my desk and pull out my roll of tape and set it in front of the person. When they ask what it is for, I tell them "Pull off two pieces and tape your middle fingers down." Most of them get the point.[This message has been edited by William81 (edited 01-03-2002).]
Can you believe it?Monica Lewinsky is 28 years old today, it seems like it was just yesterday that, she was crawling on her hands and knees around the floor of the white house.Rush Linbaw 2/7/02PS Sorry, this probably belongs in a two liner post.[This message has been edited by turbo (edited 01-07-2002).]
Comment to my girlfriend many years ago. I would really like to have a little. Her reply. You know that makes two of us. when I sneeze and someone says God bless you. I return with what are you some sort of religious fanatic?
I heard one today that made me chuckle..A co-worker was talking about his brother's shortcomings. The co-worker said he told his brother he needed to take a trip to Oz.When his brother asked what that ment, he replied...You need to go to Oz and ask for some courage and a brain.
Speaking of Winston Churchill, this has to be my alltime favorite:Lady Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink!"Winston Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Speaking of Winston Churchill, this has to be my alltime favorite:Lady Astor: "Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink!"Winston Churchill: "Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."
Comments
Politicians Love Gun Control / China Has Gun Control
Lord Lowrider the LoquaciousMember:Secret Select Society of Suave Stylish Smoking Jackets She was only a fisherman's daughter,But when she saw my rod she reeled.
"Don't shoot to stop 'em, Shoot to Destroy 'em!"
Gun Control Disarms Victims, NOT Criminals