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You know any sayings...?

turboturbo Member Posts: 820 ✭✭✭✭
edited August 2002 in General Discussion
Saw this one today, got a chuckle out of it.


"Inside every old person is a young one,..

.....wondering,....

...... what happened.?"

"The great object is that every man.... everyone who is able may have a gun." Patrick Henry
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Comments

  • 96harley96harley Member Posts: 3,992 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    "That guys colder than a mother-in-law's kiss."

    "You got the wrong pig by the ear......I'm not the one you're looking for."

    "He jumped on that deal quicker than a duck on a junebug."

    "A daughter's your daughter all her life, your son's your son till he takes a wife."
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    One that always ticked me off when my mom said it ... usually after I did something stupid... *L*

    Dont do as I do... Do as I say...


    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
  • 4GodandCountry4GodandCountry Member Posts: 3,968
    edited November -1
    Heres one you can use in a couple of months,

    Its colder than a well diggers * in the Klondike in three feet of ice water.

    Or this one the next time your looking through your scope and cant focus'

    Im shaking like a dog crapping peach seads.


    When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
  • JustCJustC Member Posts: 16,056 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Nervous as a tick in an ashtray

    crazier than a sh!thouse rat

    not the sharpest pencil in the box

    few bricks short of a load

    he's so dumb he couldn't pour p--s out of his boot if the directions were on the heel

    Dumb as a bag of hammers

    ain't worth two squirts of duck poop

    that boy could tear up an anvil (I heard that a lot when younger)

    busier than a two wee wee'd dog in a hub cap factory (wee wee can be substituted)

    and the list goes on and on..........



    A great rifle with a junk scope,....is junk.
  • susiesusie Member Posts: 7,665 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    busier than a one legged man in an a** kicking contest



    ***There's a difference between living and living well!***
  • E.WilliamsE.Williams Member Posts: 1,101 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "Dont let your mouth write a check your a** cant cash"

    Eric S. Williams
  • NighthawkNighthawk Member Posts: 12,022 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Those are all good,I liked Susie's best.I alway use the expression one card short of a full deck.



    Rugster


    Toujours Pret
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    My fathers Favorite:

    "Put brain in gear, before mouth in motion"

    "A wise man is a man that realizes just how little he knows"
  • interstatepawnllcinterstatepawnllc Member Posts: 9,390
    edited November -1
    "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people"
  • dhdh Member Posts: 127 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I'm so hungry I could jump up a hogs a** for a ham sandwich. That skeeter was so big he was standing flat footed humping a turkey.More nervous than a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs.I'm hungrier than a wharf rat.I got a bunch more.
  • charlie15charlie15 Member Posts: 937 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "Rough as a cobb "( old time toliet paper )

    " Good LORD willing and the creek don't raise "




    IF A GOVERMENT'S OPPRESSIVE, THEN REPRESS IT!!
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Don't wait for your ship to come in if you haven't sent one out.

    It's as cold as a whores' heart.
  • 4GodandCountry4GodandCountry Member Posts: 3,968
    edited November -1
    Worthless as tits on a boar hog
    hungry enouph to eat the north end of a south bound skunk
    slicker than two eels humpin in a barrel of snot
    Hes a half bubble off center
    a few bricks shy of a load
    dumb as a box of rocks
    If my dogs face looked like hers I'd shave its * and teach it to walk backwards.
    Shes got a face only a mother could love.
    Shes so ugly when she was little they had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
    Dont let your battle ship mouth get your row boat * into seas too treacherous to stay afloat.


    When Clinton left office they gave him a 21 gun salute. Its a damn shame they all missed....
  • susiesusie Member Posts: 7,665 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Being from Southern Missouri and farm country my Dad has a sh*tload of 'em. He is a riverboat pilot on the upper Mississipi and one year a deckhand followed him around with a little notebook. He was from up north and got a hoot out of listening to my Dad talk. He just had to write it all down to take home to share with others.

    Another cold one:

    Colder than a well digger's hole.

    ***There's a difference between living and living well!***
  • ccasey612ccasey612 Member Posts: 901 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Keep going. I'm taking notes

    If you will blame gun makers for every shooting then blame car maker for every car accident.
  • dhdh Member Posts: 127 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Hotter than a french cat house on nickel night.
  • William81William81 Member Posts: 25,467 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You can't make chicken salad out of chicken &#*T

    It gonna rain harder than a cow p1$$1ng on a flat rock

    He's running around like a fart in a mitten (I never really understood that one


    Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....
  • JustCJustC Member Posts: 16,056 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    not the brightest crayon in the box

    so ugly, they used to sit him in the corner and feed him grapes with a slingshot

    colder than a witch's t!t

    she has a million dollar body and a foodstamp face

    she has a butter face, great body,....butt her face

    he's got summer teeth, summer here, summer there, summer gone.

    fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

    sweatin like a wh0re in church

    blind as a bat

    doesn't have a bit of do-right in him

    makes as much sense as a screen door on a submarine

    that and 35 cents will get you a phone call

    wish in one hand and crap in the other, ..and see which one fills up first

    if IF's and BUTT's were candy and nuts, everyday would be christmas

    if brains were made of dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose

    did your parents have any children that lived?

    only doctors have patients (my reply to the wife when asked to exercise some)

    A great rifle with a junk scope,....is junk.
  • mudgemudge Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    If at first, you don't succeed...to hell with it.
    When it doubt....whip it out.
    Slicker'n snot on a doorknob.
    Admit nothing. Deny everything. Make counter accusations.

    Mudge the trite

    I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,084 ******
    edited November -1
    "I hope it snows hub-deep to a Ferris wheel."

    "Useful as a screen door on a submarine."

    "Wish in one hand, and *^$@ in the other and see which one fills up faster."

    "If wishes were horses, we'd all take a ride."

    "Lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut."

    "Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you."

    "If brains were gunpowder, you couldn't blow your nose."

    "You'd rather slap your mama than to raise a hand to me."

    "He is positive proof that stupid people shouldn't reproduce."

    "I will (accomplish something) if it harelips the Pope."

    "I've been busier than a pair of jumper cables at a (insert identifiable group here) funeral."

    SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com, the best gun auction site on the Net! Email davidnunn@texoma.net
  • n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    my all time fav...

    Dead ducks fly backwards too...


    Lil' Stinker's Opinion
  • v35v35 Member Posts: 12,710 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The best part of you ran down your fathers' leg.

    It's an inch long and a pound round.
  • Matt45Matt45 Member Posts: 3,185
    edited November -1
    "More than one way to de-fur a feline"

    "Six of one, half-dozen of the other.."

    "It's wonderful to be born rich and good looking- but it looks like I got cheated on both accounts."

    "I'm so hungry I'll eat the south end of a northbound cow"

    "Hide his paycheck under his work boots and he'll starve to death"

    "I came to do two things, chew gum and kick *. I'm all outta gum."

    One I read in a WEB Griffin book-
    "You play ball with 72nd, or we'll stick the bat up your *!"

    I overheard this one from a senior maintanance Chief Warrant Officer, a real hillbilly, telling the Battalion Commander about the status of his HUMMER on the radio-
    "Black 6 this is Wrench 6, we're gonna kick the tires and light the fires, run her up and down the Tango Tango (Tank Trail) see what falls in the back seat."
    "Uhhhh, Wrench 6 this is Black 6- Uhhhhh, Roger! Err, Uhhh, Let me know how that works out, OK?"


    My personal favorite-
    "It's the same thing, only different...."

    Reserving my Right to Arm Bears!!!!


    Edited by - Matt45 on 08/27/2002 19:24:48
  • AlpineAlpine Member Posts: 15,092 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    If it an't broke, don't fix it.

    He's got a room temperature IQ.

    She's so ugly, she has to sneek up on a broom.

    Close only counts in horseshoes,handgernades, and nucular bombs.

    Are you really that stupid, or am I just lucky today.



    "If you ain't got pictures, I wasn't there."
    ?The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.?
    Margaret Thatcher

    "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
    Mark Twain
  • beachmaster73beachmaster73 Member Posts: 3,011 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Got to admit that this Yankee who really does enjoy spinning up the Southern folk has one quote from the South that stands head and shoulders over any other that I know:
    "Duty is the most sublime word in the English language. Do your duty in all things. You can never do more...you should never wish to do less." -Robert E. Lee

    See Salzo I can appreciate certain parts of the Confederacy. Beach
  • wundudneewundudnee Member Posts: 6,108 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    He's a few fries short of a happy meal.

    That boy is so slow it takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.

    She's so short she is the last one to get rained on. But she's the first to drown.

    ....................
    AD ASTRA PER ASPERA

    To the stars through difficulties
    standard.jpg
  • bama55bama55 Member Posts: 6,389 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    I ain't seen you in a *'s age.

    Colder than a witches t!t in a brass brassiere.

    Hotter than a Saturday nite special.

    Hotter than two toads in a furnace.

    Smells worse than a dead skunk (in the middle of the road).

    Skeeters so big we have to call the Air Force to shoot them down.

    So hungry my stomach thinks my throat has been cut.



    Don't send flowers when I die. Send money now, I can buy more ammo.
  • smokinggunsmokinggun Member Posts: 590 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "got so sick throwing up when I tasted hair I swallowed cuz I knew my a**hole was coming up"

    Now that's gross!

    BNRVA@aol.comwww.vcdl.org
  • inspectorknuckleheadinspectorknucklehead Member Posts: 81 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    That ain't worth a *, not even a turd and a half.

    That's about as funny as a horse with a kickstand.

    I'll be dipped in * and rolled in cracker crumbs.

    I'm as busy as a cat in a sandbox.



    "He that hath no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one" Luke 22:36
  • LagoLago Member Posts: 464 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    She's so ugly that you need two paper bags, one for her head and one for yours, in case her bag came off.
  • mudgemudge Member Posts: 4,225 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    How could I forget one of my all time favorites?

    There are good women and there are bad women.
    Some of the bad ones are VERY GOOD!

    Mudge the senile


    I can't come to work today. The voices said, STAY HOME AND CLEAN THE GUNS!
  • William81William81 Member Posts: 25,467 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My Uncle used to say "You can't polish a turd"

    Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....
  • William81William81 Member Posts: 25,467 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    My Uncle used to say "You can't polish a turd"

    Guns only have two enemies: Rust and Liberals....
  • HappyNanoqHappyNanoq Member Posts: 12,023
    edited November -1
    "Don't do anything that I've allready done !!"

    =o)

    Regards
    Peter E Jeppesen
    Greenland.

    I love my silenced .22 Anshutz rifle =o) Now also my Steyr Scout in .308W. ;o_ (Got a Schmidt&Bender 1.5-6*42 on it..)
    Those guns are YUMMMYYYY !
  • texshootertexshooter Member Posts: 1,002 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    put both their IQ's together, and could not get a good idiot

    busy than a four ba**ed tom cat

    more confused than the FTD guy on fathers day

    National Rifle Association Endowment Member-Texas State Rifle Association Life member
  • daddodaddo Member Posts: 3,408
    edited November -1
    "Inside every old person is a young one,..

    I'm older (47) but I awake in the morning with a *** just like a young'in.
    Old Guy saying---"I might be too old to cut the mustard, but I ain't too old to lick the jar it came out of"!
  • lokdok1lokdok1 Member Posts: 383 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "She's so fat , the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs!"
    "We're too soon old, too late smart" (Pa.Dutch)

    "He doesn't know s**t from Shinola"


    Edited by - lokdok1 on 08/28/2002 23:56:46
  • tesla85tesla85 Member Posts: 728 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have this on the back of my truck: Warning! Driver only carries 20 dollars worth of ammuniton!

    Also, Keep honking, i'm reloading!

    Another favorite: You can have my guns when you pry them from my cold dead fingers. It is so true!


    When they come to get your GUNS, make sure to give them the AMMO first!!!
  • austin247austin247 Member Posts: 375
    edited November -1
    "That boy's as useless as t!ts on a boarhog."

    "Busier than a one-armed paper hanger."

    "That boy's about two beers short of a six-pack."

    "He ain't exactly the crunchiest peanut in the turd."

    "That girl got whupped up on with an ugly stick."

    "He came from the shallow end of the gene pool."

    "Happy as a pig in sh*t."

    "She's ugly as a mud fence."

    "He's uglier than homemade soap."
  • groundhog devastationgroundhog devastation Member Posts: 4,495
    edited November -1
    That's more fun than eatin beans!! Alpine's post needs to be edited: Close don't count, 'cept in horseshoes, lovin and hand grenades!" GHD
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