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What "Country" Sayings/Wisdom Do You Know?

MercuryMercury Member Posts: 7,840 ✭✭✭
edited October 2004 in General Discussion
I love old-time/country type sayings. Things like "Dumber than a box of rocks in the rain" etc.

"Uglier than a mud fence" is a good one too. [:D]

What are some of yours?


Merc



"You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. " - Al Capone, (1899-1947)

"Tolerating things you may not necessarily like is part of being free" - Larry Flynt
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Comments

  • HappyNanoqHappyNanoq Member Posts: 12,023
    edited November -1
    "Yellow snow doesn't taste of lemon."
    More of a precaution I heard in a movie (not personal!!)

    polarbear.gif
    Don't do anything that I've allready done - That'd be just plain STOOOOOOPID.
  • MercuryMercury Member Posts: 7,840 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Bahahahhaa!!!!!!!

    Not quite what I meant, Happy! [;)]


    Merc

    "You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. " - Al Capone, (1899-1947)

    "Tolerating things you may not necessarily like is part of being free" - Larry Flynt
  • silver6silver6 Member Posts: 613 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Ol guy I work with has done everything there seems to be and tells the best stories and he uses "goofier than a box full of grapes" all the time and my favorite "raisin seven kinds of hell" to name just a few.

    If god meant for us to talk more than we listened he'd have given us one ear and two mouths- Vince Lombardi
  • droptopdroptop Member Posts: 8,363 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    Can't find his way out of a four door outhouse.

    or

    If you ain't got nothin GOOD to say don't say nothin at all.
    (does not apply to the political forum)

    Other freedoms are IN COURT NOW and under attack. Click to read latest report.
  • hivoltghivoltg Member Posts: 928 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Messed up like a tumpt over tackle box
    Bussier than a one armed paper hanger
    Had less chance than a one legged man in an a** kickin contest

    Once had an old mechanic that died several years back. We live on a small farm and I had a 1960 chevy truck that he would keep running for me. Everytime I took the truck to his house to have him fix it he would say, "Ya know boy, an old truck is like a small d**k, it's alright around the house but not much good in town." Took me several years to figure out what the old man meant. Damn I miss him. That guy was a riot.

    "The only thing you do better than me is drive that Diamante, and that's just because I've never been in it!"--Little John
  • Red223Red223 Member Posts: 7,946
    edited November -1
    colder than a witches ti....
  • gap1916gap1916 Member Posts: 4,977
    edited November -1
    Common Sence is not Common any longer.

    Greg
    Former Marine
    A N G L I C O
  • TOOLS1TOOLS1 Member Posts: 6,133
    edited November -1
    I once had a guy tell me. Pigs get fed, Hogs get eaten.
    TOOLS

    General TOOLS RRG

    Don't go blaming the beer. Hank Hill

    So much Ice, So much Beer. So little time. Shooter4

    I don't have an anger problem. I have an idiot problem. Hank Hill

    When I was a child, I thought as a child. But now that I am grown, I just wish I could act like a child and get away with it.
  • cowdoccowdoc Member Posts: 5,847 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    first fog then the winter will freeze the hair of an Indians dog
    a very old neighbor lady used to say that when we had foggy falls she is dead now and for some time now, i would guess she was born in the late 1800's from what i remeber about her she was a spittin image of old granny clampet what ever the name of that show is
    speaking of fog i have been up since 1 am looking for just weaned cows that broke out last night in the fog and were on a major us highway 20 some miles from home....not fun

    edit for spelling i am very tired pry some more mistakes who gives a crap[:D]
  • bobskibobski Member Posts: 17,866 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    'if the man had a brain he'd be dangerous.'
    'if it was raining soup, they'd hand me a fork.'
    'the man is one chisel shy in his toolbox.'
    'its a nice day for raking leaves.'
    'the mans so tuff, he eats steel and s_ _ t's sparks.'
    'he works like a bull in a china cabinet.'
    'measure with a micrometer, mark it with chalk, cut it with an ax.'

    btw there mr. marine 1916....its: 'sense,' not sence. [8]

    go navy! we have diplomas!
    Retired Naval Aviation
    Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
    Former NSSA All American
    Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
    MO, CT, VA.
  • chuckchuck Member Posts: 4,911
    edited November -1
    If it has (tit's or wheel's) it's TROUBLE.
  • ATFATF Member Posts: 11,683 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    You're so bright your Mother calls you Sunny.You're as bright as a dark cellar.

    Eagle_Guns.gif
    standard.jpg
    standard.jpg
    When a worm wants to relax,does he go fishing?  ATF,Eagle Guns
  • James AyersJames Ayers Member Posts: 1,598 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    [8D]--First edition-First cabin- Top drawer-cube less than a full tray-dumber than a bread box-smarter than a whip![:o)][:o)][:o)][:o)]

    On your mark-get set- go away!!
  • wdstclair1992wdstclair1992 Member Posts: 130 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I like "lost like a marble in tall grass"
  • sheepdipsheepdip Member Posts: 3,124
    edited November -1
    Never cook bacon in the nude.

    quote; Originally posted by jimmyxiexiang

    Dear sir,
    I don't care the politics. don't talking about the politics with me, I just like the Handgun..
  • CHGOTHNDERCHGOTHNDER Member Posts: 8,936 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Some of Dad's...

    Sharp as a steel ball bearing
    Bright as an italian christmas light set
    I love you more than a hog loves slop
    Feels as good as a pair of mink panties
    If she had a tooth she'd be pretty


    PJ

    editorialcolor.bmp
    If nobody seen you do it, how could you have done it. NRA Endowment Member, AF&AM, Shriner Life Member, A.B.A.T.E. of Illinois "Chicago Chapter" Founding Member & Board Member
  • Quail KidQuail Kid Member Posts: 367 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Always used to hear this when I was a kid...
    "It's colder outside than a well diggers gizzard."
  • AlpineAlpine Member Posts: 15,092 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

    A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

    Spit in one hand, wish in the other and see which one fills up faster.

    If your close enough to put salt on their tail, you're close enough to catch them.

    If you're lucky, you don't need to be smart.

    An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

    Your mileage may vary.

    avatar.jpg

    "If you ain't got pictures, I wasn't there."
    ?The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.?
    Margaret Thatcher

    "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
    Mark Twain
  • texshootertexshooter Member Posts: 1,002 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Slicker than snot on a doorknob

    busier than a 4 ball tom cat

    there's a village missing an idiot somewhere ( applies to john kerry )

    want more? [:D]

    National Rifle Association Endowment Member-Texas State Rifle Association Life
    member

    PM Ashley 681 AF & AM, York Rite Mason
  • ZERODINZERODIN Member Posts: 6,338
    edited November -1
    Nobody here from a cold climate? "Slower than molasses in January."

    It has a lot more meaning when "January" is another way of saying "Today's high sets a new record of -20 degrees, making this the warmest January in recorded history."
  • NighthawkNighthawk Member Posts: 12,022 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Chinese,it goes something like this:Dont talk the politics to me,I like the Handgun![:D]Cant remember where I heard it??

    Rugster




    "Toujours Pret"
  • MVPMVP Member Posts: 23,453 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by ZERODIN
    Nobody here from a cold climate? "Slower than molasses in January."



    Or "we are off like a herd of turtles"

    girlieman.png
  • MVPMVP Member Posts: 23,453 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Remember "he's on it like a hobo on a hotdog"
    The modern version was changed to "he's on it like a homo on a hotdog"


    girlieman.png
  • John N.John N. Member Posts: 421 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    The action on that gun is as smooth as nanny-goat lips.[:D] He is so dangerous with tools he could tear up an anvil with a ball-peen hammer.[:D][:D]I have been doing so much for so long with so little,I can do just about anything with nothing in notime.[:D]

    I have learned that when the stuff hits the fan it is never evenly distributed.
  • NOSLEEPNOSLEEP Member Posts: 4,526
    edited November -1
    Slicker than frog snot.
    Dumber than a bag of hammers.
    As sure as a frogs head is water tight.
    Beats a poke in the head with a sharp stick.
    As sure as a bear fooeys in the woods.

    Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not,
    and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
  • NOSLEEPNOSLEEP Member Posts: 4,526
    edited November -1
    and my fav.
    I love you more than a thousand sockeye.

    Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not,
    and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is.
  • cletus85cletus85 Member Posts: 2,104 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    He owes everybody from hell to breakfast...
  • CHGOTHNDERCHGOTHNDER Member Posts: 8,936 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Sorry in advance Nunn.

    Happier than a friend Sissy in boy's town.

    PJ

    editorialcolor.bmp
    If nobody seen you do it, how could you have done it. NRA Endowment Member, AF&AM, Shriner Life Member, A.B.A.T.E. of Illinois "Chicago Chapter" Founding Member & Board Member
  • CHGOTHNDERCHGOTHNDER Member Posts: 8,936 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Damn are you fast[:D][:D][:D]

    PJ

    quote:Originally posted by CHGOTHNDER
    Sorry in advance Nunn.

    Happier than a friend Sissy in boy's town.

    PJ

    editorialcolor.bmp
    If nobody seen you do it, how could you have done it. NRA Endowment Member, AF&AM, Shriner Life Member, A.B.A.T.E. of Illinois "Chicago Chapter" Founding Member & Board Member


    editorialcolor.bmp
    If nobody seen you do it, how could you have done it. NRA Endowment Member, AF&AM, Shriner Life Member, A.B.A.T.E. of Illinois "Chicago Chapter" Founding Member & Board Member
  • mauser_centralmauser_central Member Posts: 733 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    steep as a mules face [ refering to a mountain or hill ]
    shes anybodys dog that will hunt her [ you figure it out [:D] ]
    tounge tied in the middle and loose on both ends
    on it like a coonhound on a tree
    colder than a well diggers a55
    meaner than a 3 peckered billy goat
    theres a lid for every kettle
    as tender as your eye [ talking about steak, food or a sore spot ]
    and one from my dad
    I dont know how they can make it so good and sell it so cheap [ talking about his coffee ]




    "When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe
    ~ Jesus Christ [Luke 11:21.6]

    Mauser Central

    MidwayUSA, if your not signed up for the Eblast alerts you are missing some great deals !
  • nunnnunn Forums Admins, Member, Moderator Posts: 36,085 ******
    edited November -1
    It snowed hub deep to a Ferris wheel.

    Useless as the teats on a boar hog. (This was one of Dad's favorites.)

    He's so mean, he goes bear huntin' with a switch.

    She's so ugly, her face would stop an eight-day clock.

    Even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while.

    Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes all the way to the bone.

    He was on it like a duck on a June bug.



    SIG pistol armorer/FFL Dealer/Full time Peace Officer, Moderator of General Discussion Board on Gunbroker. Visit www.gunbroker.com the best gun auction site on the Net! Email gpd035@sbcglobal.net
  • oldgunneroldgunner Member Posts: 2,466 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    It's raining like pouring Pi** out of a boot.
    He couldn't stick his thumb in his A** using both hands.
    I'm as Horny as a billy goat.
    He's sweating like a "Ethnic" at an election.

    There are no bad guns, only bad people.
  • JustCJustC Member Posts: 16,056 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    He's so dumb he couldn't pour pi$$ out of a boot if the directions were on the heel.

    dumber than a clam shell.

    it takes a big dog to fooey a ton

    play with fooey and you're gonna get some on ya



    why chase the game when the bullet can get em from here?....
    Got Balistics?
  • dcon12dcon12 Member Posts: 32,040 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    So skinny you would have to drink muddy water to cast a shadow,

    Don

    "I would not mind being the last man on earth just to see if all those girls were telling me the truth"
  • TheBrassManTheBrassMan Member Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "Dumber then a bag of dirt"
    "One fry short of a Happy Meal"
    "His/her elevator doesn't go to the top floor"
    "Measure twice, cut once"


    Nowhere in the U.S. Constitution does it state: "Seperation of Church and State".

    "Those who beat their guns into plow shares; will plow for those who don't."

    62038332.jpgawcountdown.gif

    "Isaiah 5:20 ?Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"
  • jsergovicjsergovic Member Posts: 5,526
    edited November -1
    Response to someone complaining ...
    IT'S BETTER THAN A POKE IN THE EYE

    Response to getting warped lumber ...
    IT'S AS TWISTED AS A PIG'S D***
  • MattyTibbsMattyTibbs Member Posts: 148 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I just heard one tonight from a wise man "How do you turn a Fox into a Dog... You marry one."

    dwlu8
    dwlt4

    It's not war untill someone breaks out the .50 calibers.
  • alledanalledan Member Posts: 19,541
    edited November -1
    Meaner than a sack full of wildcats.

    faster than a turkey after a june bug

    Happier than a pig in a poke.

    Doesn't know his * from a hole in the ground.

    Deep as a well and shallow as a mud puddle.

    Faster than greased st..! on lightening

    Deader than a door nail.

    Biatching like a sow in heat.

    Hotter than a welders torch.

    If you walk thru a field of rattlesnakes-be careful where you step.

    She's like a pan full of corn bread....everybody at her table gets a piece.

    Slicker than lard on a log.

    He can climb a tree faster than a monkey with a corn cob up his *.

    So broke he doesn't have a penny to pizz on.

    So dumb he can't pizz and miss his shoe.

    Sicker than a dog.

    She's hotter than a cayenne pepper.

    Once a man...twice a child/ once a woman..twice a child.

    Shaking harder than a black man at a klan rally.

    Drunker than a shunk.

    He smells like someone opened up a grave.

    When god said brains-he thought he said trains and missed his.

    Uglier than a donkeys *.
















    Delta.gif
  • TheBrassManTheBrassMan Member Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "Well, that's a deep subject for very shallow minds."


    Nowhere in the U.S. Constitution does it state: "Seperation of Church and State".

    "Those who beat their guns into plow shares; will plow for those who don't."

    62038332.jpgawcountdown.gif

    "Isaiah 5:20 ?Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"
  • cletus85cletus85 Member Posts: 2,104 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    He's the dumbest SOB that ever Sh it behind a pair of shoes[:D]
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