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Stupidist thing your boss ever said

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    Queen of SwordsQueen of Swords Member Posts: 14,355
    edited November -1
    "If you are on time for a meeting with me, then you are already 5 minutes too late...."

    What space/time dimention do you live in?

    More productivity sacrificed on the alter of the almighty ego....
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    Queen of SwordsQueen of Swords Member Posts: 14,355
    edited November -1
    quote:Originally posted by rcrxs old lady
    "If you are on time for a meeting with me, then you are already 5 minutes too late...."

    What space/time dimention do you live in?

    More productivity sacrificed on the altar of the almighty ego....
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    moose56moose56 Member Posts: 468 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
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    JorgeJorge Member Posts: 10,656 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    This is a no skeeter:

    "I've been meeting with some very important people, and trust me... (long pause), you're going to like this project."

    [:0][:0][:0]
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    sig232sig232 Member Posts: 8,018
    edited November -1
    You can't retire!!!![:D]
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    Aspen79seAspen79se Member Posts: 4,707
    edited November -1
    Irregardless.

    I thought to myself, "Wow, did that really come out of her mouth?"
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    CaptplaidCaptplaid Member Posts: 20,296 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    This place would run it's self if they (other mgmt) would just let it.

    He was fired 4 weeks ago.
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    n/an/a Member Posts: 168,427
    edited November -1
    You can trust me.
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    180A180A Member Posts: 828 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "If you people can't get the job done, I'll hire a bunch of college kids part time that will!"

    I stood up and said "Then, you'd better get your hiring shoes on!" and got up and left. More than half of the employees in the room followed me out.

    A few days later I got a call at home from the boss's boss.

    Seems they fired the worthless POS boss, and I was offered his job.

    The big boss said he had no idea things were that bad at the company, and he wanted to rebuild the organization.

    I declined.
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    kimikimi Member Posts: 44,723 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Boss: Will you come back to work?

    Me: I don't need that kind of job, I've got a $20.00 guitar and a Basset Hound.
    What's next?
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    ripley16ripley16 Member Posts: 4,834
    edited November -1
    Me: "Boss, the truck needs a oil change"

    Boss: "You don't need to change the oil, just keep adding more as it gets low."

    later that month...

    Me: "Boss, the truck needs a new engine"
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    gruntledgruntled Member Posts: 8,218 ✭✭
    edited November -1
    This isn't fair, I worked for the Post Office so there were so many it's hard to choose. Maybe the worst was, "It takes less time to deliver in the rain because you are in a hurry to get done."
    They are taught many of them & you will often hear such things as "volumn has no effect on delivery time" & no matter how many packages you have they just say "Drop them off on your way by."
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    fishermanbenfishermanben Member Posts: 15,370
    edited November -1
    "you're going to have to make a choice: Work, or hunting."

    as I began to load up my desk, she backed up, and said..."well there's really no reason why you can't do both."

    Ben
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    ScharfSchutzeScharfSchutze Member Posts: 803 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    I have a couple memorable ones,

    1.) YOU DONT NEED TO BE WATCHING HIM!
    2.) STOP EATING ALL THE NOVELTIES!
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    SNIPER1048SNIPER1048 Member Posts: 144 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    "OH,GOD" YOU DID IT JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU TO!!!!
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    Fatboy livesFatboy lives Member Posts: 708 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    Dale Holliwell, plant manager of Fruit of the Loom in Jamestown KY while I was employed there, I was present when he and my supervisor were discussing employee attendence. He said, "all you've got to do is look at the stuffty vehicles they drive to work to tell you they don't want to be here". He is a real stuck up meanie. Glad I didn't have to work their for to long before I found better pay else were.
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    akfanatikakfanatik Member Posts: 580 ✭✭✭
    edited November -1
    ok heres another

    "What are you, On drugs??"
    Hes a renowned coke addict
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