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Perhaps a dumb question
cer
Member Posts: 826 ✭✭✭✭
I'm a combat Marine vn vet, and have a question:
if a friend or family member dies do you greive for a week or more, or does your memory of them kinda fade, like " someone you didn't know"?
I'm kinda checking if i'm different.
Please no smart answers, this is serious for me.
if a friend or family member dies do you greive for a week or more, or does your memory of them kinda fade, like " someone you didn't know"?
I'm kinda checking if i'm different.
Please no smart answers, this is serious for me.
Comments
Maybe the drugs the VA has me taking, has killed my ability to care about most anything. my wife says I a cold blooded sob
Family and loved ones, or the really tragic deaths I witnessed never seem to loose the emotional impact, although i can now talk about my two son's deaths, I still feel the deep emotions, and when everyone has left the room, I still tear up.
I am an old man. I have buried family, friends, and brothers-in-arms. Everyone reacts to death in a different way- people are different. However, NO reaction at all is not healthy.
Again, you DO need to find a counselor that is a good listener, and can ask the right questions. More drugs ON THEIR OWN are not going to do a lot for you.
Sometimes your mind finds a way of tolerating intolerable events. Been there, done that. Does not mean that the hole it ducked in to is where it should stay.
That you are looking for some help does NOT mean you are insane- probably means you are VERY sane, and realize things are not right.
I've been going to the Quacks since the 70's. I've gone throu the PTSD program 3 times, I go see scrinks quite often. I'm 110% service connected and unemployable. All my friends military and personal are gone. All my Family is gone. have no friends or family just a pitt bull and a Basset hound. no intrest in fishing or hunting or anything else. i'm just taking space that someone who had a talent for something important could cover lots better than me.
AS has been mentioned: find the right shrink. I went to 3 before I found one that spotted my problem.
You're the one needing help and recognizing that (as this post shows) is the first step. Next step is to get someone that can help you understand what's in your head.
They are there to help you, you're not there to keep them busy. Keep trying until you get help.
Pills may or may not be PART of the answer. I've finally gotten some meds that are helping; tried a couple that either made it worse of didn't help.
Especially one that makes your emotions flat. That's only good to make you a controllable Zombie.
Here's the hard part -- find something you can give. I know how hard it is to start doing things when it feels like you are trying to walk in chest deep water while everyone else is on dry ground but you gotta take some steps.
Love dogs? Find a shelter that needs walkers, etc. No, you don't need to adopt any more but you can make life better for some until they find a home.
Habitat for Humanity is always building houses and can use some help, even if it's just digging, etc. It would get you out and in contact with people.
I understand some of what you're feeling. I grew up not knowing how to love and view now death with neutrality (both of my parents, both of wife's parents and her oldest brother, two other BIL's but no hurt) but there's more to life.
You gotta let a little light in by letting some hurt out. We've already lost too many good men to VN; we don't need one more.
Find something to get you out of your rut.
You're a Marine, I know that means sometimes you don't do things the easy way but it's time you kicked yourself into gear and did something.
What would say to someone in your outfit if they were behaving like you are?
Keep posting here -- the guys will keep you centered.