Right now, I'd trade places........
sxsnuf
Member Posts: 2,952 ✭✭✭✭
with just about anybody. That's how I feel, without considering how much worse some others may have it.
I'm sitting with my mother, in a pleasant room, surrounded by her favorite furnishings. There are flowers and cards filling the window sill. It's eerily quiet, save for her every laboured breath sounding like a "death rattle". I don't expect her to make it through the night, but we've thought that for the last 3 or4 nights. About 10 days ago, she began to aspirate her food and water. We quit pushing her to eat and drink, only giving either when she requested it, and only in small quantities. Now, she has tested positive for wuflu, though I don't think that's currently adding to her respiratory distress.
I never previously imagined how totally helpless I would feel in this moment, yet I know I'm fortunate to be here with her. I'm well aware of the millions who, over the last 15 months, lost loved ones to the chinese plague, with no opportunity to speak final words or just give a gentle squeeze of the hand. I can do that for my mom, and I THINK she's aware that I'm here with her. For 6 1/2 decades, she would have done anything to protect me and help me, yet I am powerless to ease her suffering.
Outside her room are 3 of those clear, plastic drawer sets. They contain gowns, faceshields, rubber gloves and n-95 masks. The expectation is, that every time I enter the room, I'm to don the full compliment of protective gear, then discard everything before leaving the room. Is it selfish of me to ignore that expectation? Should I be more willing to approach my own mother as if she's some kind of toxic waste?
Well, whether you do or don't understand what I'm rambling about, please send up a prayer or good thought on Pearl's behalf. Trust me when I say, she's earned it!
Comments
"I never previously imagined how totally helpless I would feel in this moment"
As helpless as you feel, bear one thing in mind. You are immensely, unspeakably precious to her right now. Treasured above all her earthly possessions. You are her beloved son. Nobody else in the entire world gets to say that... there is exactly ONE of you, and she treasures that more than she's ever said. Everything else in her thinking has slipped away to obscurity and if she's having any conscious thought at all, it's that her son is with her.
Your presence and the touch of your warm hand is keeping her fears at bay, giving her something else to focus on and enjoy. You alone in all the world have that ability tonight. Just by being there.
Do you remember any of the songs she sang you when you were a little boy? Lean in close and sing them to her. Give her a kiss on the cheek in between each one. The minutes you have tonight are precious, you will think back on tonight for the rest of your life. Leave nothing unsaid, no song unsung, no tear unshed. Tonight is holy and precious.
God bless you and your mother as you walk this path together.
Thank you Nanuq. Your words and prayers are a true comfort.
Prayers asked for your mother.
I don't mean to take anything away from your precious moments with your mom sxsnuf but you are very fortunate to be allowed in her room.
Last June, my brother passed away totally alone from all his family. Wife of 49 years, two grown kids, and all his brothers and sisters were forbidden to visit. After nearly a year later, his wife still cannot find any kind of a peaceful closure. She is what I would call grief stricken to the max and her tears are shed with the slightest reminder.
I hope and pray for you and your mom in her final hours, to find peace and the comfort of our Lords Precious Holy Spirit.
I can empathize with you. Been there, done that just over 20 years back.
Thanx to everyone who's responded.
Brookwood, I didn't think you were taking anything away by pointing out how fortunate I am to have this time. In my OP I mentioned the millions of family members who were robbed of their final farewells by draconian, oppressive, dehumanizing restrictions. That you and your family were among them, is truly heartbreaking and maddening at the same time. I'm so sorry that happened to you. This facility, while it is currently under lockdown, is allowing visitors for end of life residents only. That we're allowed to stay overnight is a tribute to my mother, from the staff. Mom's been a well loved resident here for 10 years and they've tried hard to accommodate us. My poor sister is at home with chinavirus and can only communicate her love and prayers by speaker phone.
prayers
My heartfelt sentiment for you and your family.
If you need something from any of us, please ask.
I have spent the last hours with family member. In my profession I have seen and assisted many others as they do so. Your mother knows you are there and treasures that you can be. Bless you all.
Having been through this myself, any words of sympathy that I may give seem lacking. Any words of encouragement seem somehow wrong. Prayers sent. Bob
Prayers for you, your mom and family.
Prayers for your mom, you, and any other family.
Most of us have been thru this rite of passage already or soon will. Cherish th e time you get to spend with her . Talk to her about your favorite memories of growing up ,i am convinced they hear more than we think .Prayers for a safe journey across Jordan
most of use have gone thru the same thing it is super hard. prayers
Prayers said!
If you can't feel the music; it's only pink noise!
+10...
Well said Nanuq...
Combat Vet VN
D.A.V Life Member
Prayers for you and your mother.
just went through this with wifes dad.
Prayers sent
Thank you GB family. Your prayers and well wishes mean more than you know.
Did this 20 yrs ago with my Dad and I'm confident they're sliding across a glorious dancefloor together as I write this.
I was fortunate to be with her as she drew her last earthly breath about 8 Pacific time this morning.
Sorry for your loss.
I'm very sorry for your loss! Prayers said for peace, comfort, and strength for you and your family!
If you can't feel the music; it's only pink noise!
Sorry for your loss, SXS. It's good that you could be there with her. You're a good son.
So sorry for your loss. May the good Lord be with you,
My condolences. May she RIP and you have comfort for your soul.
Prayers for you and your family. May God bless you during this time.
Condolences for your loss. Take comfort in the fact that you were able to be with her at the end of her life. I am sure she knew that you were there. Prayers for you and your family.
Sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and your family.
Condolences sent, I was with both of my parents when they passed away. I am glad I was able to do that. Your Mother was blessed that you were with her.
I’m sorry brother. Memorial Day will mean something special from now on. I like the mental image of them sliding across that heavenly dance floor together again.
Sorry to hear the SAD news. She knows you were there for her.
Sorry for your loss
Take comfort you were there I am sure she knew and you helped her knowing some one she loved dearly was with her in her last moments in this mortal world
so sorry to hear, prayers to all involved and a little peace in knowing her suffering is over.
May she rest in peace.
I am so sorry for your loss. May your dear mom RIP forever.--------Ray
Prayers from here. Sorry for your loss brother.
And fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit
While sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life
And drink it from a fountain
That is pouring like an avalanche
Coming down the mountain
So sorry for your loss, prayers for your family.
Prayers sent from our neck of the woods,🙏 Eternal rest grant unto her Oh Lord