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Gonna be homeless in November.

yoshmysteryoshmyster Member Posts: 19,954 ✭✭✭

Just got told the condo will be tented and I have to get out for three days some time in November. I have to move out all my valuables so as not to tempt the "fumigators" from coming back on their day off to steal from me. I have to hide the boxes of "documentaries" on human reproductive studies. I wonder if I put a fish tank on top of the safe, will make them think it's a fish tank "stand"?

I told a co-worker how these "exterminator companies" were a source for B&E and she thought I was crazy. Sure they themselves might not do the B&E but they could be "spotters" since they can take cell phone pics of the goodies and will have a key they could copy for them. I reckon I'll have to get my locks changed. More money.

I know that "factory sealed" foods can stay in the home. So I have to pack my van full of spices and other not so well sealed eats (like rice and sugar). That reminds me I have to eat up the goodies in the freezer. What a mess.

I'll have to put a plastic cover sealing off the fish tanks. I wonder if the fumes will leave residue?

Maybe I'll camp out in the parking lot in the van and poop in a bucket for three days and hit up the "sweet spots" like whore's bath? I'd hate to check in to a motel and bring home bed bugs.

I better start collecting boxes.


  • jimdeerejimdeere Member, Moderator Posts: 24,724 ******

    Have you learned anything from those documentaries?

  • hillbillehillbille Member Posts: 13,676 ✭✭✭✭

    why aren't the condo owners paying for a motel??????????

  • chmechme Member Posts: 1,370 ✭✭✭✭

    Re: bedbugs- if anyone is really concerned about them after a hotel stay- put your suitcase inside the car (not the trunk) park it in the sun, leave it all day. Heat is high enough to kill them all.

  • select-fireselect-fire Member Posts: 69,478 ✭✭✭✭
  • chiefrchiefr Member Posts: 13,111 ✭✭✭✭

    I would worry more about government taking possessions and planting evidence before I worried about bedbugs and exterminators.

  • BobJudyBobJudy Member Posts: 5,926 ✭✭✭✭

    Can't you just move in with one of the homeless communities? Probably a lot of "helpful" folks there that would show you the ropes about living on the street. Maybe make a sign like one of these;

    But I don't recommend this one;

    Who knows? You might make a few bucks. 😁 Bob

  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 50,108 ✭✭✭✭

    Dude, they will kill the fish!!! What could be worse?

  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 50,108 ✭✭✭✭

    Oh, and if you want to come to New Mexico, we will put you up for a couple of days. We have a garage.

  • yoshmysteryoshmyster Member Posts: 19,954 ✭✭✭


    I am a "owner". If you're asking why the hoa doesn't because the cash still comes out from my pocket.

    BobJudy - Yeah I think I can scrape couple hundred to stay in a roach motel instead of on the street. i do have a mini van but I think that'll house my eats and booze.

    Yeah I'm worried about this. I'm gonna put couple of layers of garbage bags on top and tape up the openings right before I have to vacate. Can't move the contents of the 100 and the 125.

    Thanks for the offer but half way down I'll have to turn back. That reminds me a guy I know was yapping on that Nuevo Mexico will be the new "refugee" spot for Californians. He was telling me about the town with an "Adobe Bar" was the place to be. I don't think they have enough blue meth for me to move to that state. But who knows?

  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 50,108 ✭✭✭✭

    Every town here has an adobe bar, but he probably means Santa Fe. Only California refugees can afford to live there. New Mexico has already been Californicated, like every other western state.

  • yoshmysteryoshmyster Member Posts: 19,954 ✭✭✭

    Yeah California will infect and colonize two states around it's self (except Idaho). Soon the states West of the Rockies will be called California.

  • yoshmysteryoshmyster Member Posts: 19,954 ✭✭✭

    So I got this pisssy note from the hoa about me vacating my unit while it gets tented. It began with the silly cow sending out a a note where they wanted a lunch time pole about vacating on the week of November 7th was "convenient". Anyways they had a box where they allowed me to check no so I had to check that. It didn't ask for a reason or anything so I had to yank their chain.

    Anyhow the note I got today had mentions of where everyone is okay with the tenting and if I don't vacate on time lawyers will be involved and I'll receive the bill and such. Which made me type up retort where how they weren't firm on the dates of the week of November 7th I thought they were "asking" still. Then something about they tried to contact me where I had to point out not everybody has a 9 to 5 (I work nights) and don't answer the door because I don't have to (this is still America). Also these days I live by the words of Henry Rollins line from the movie "Johnny Mnemonic" "If you're not expected then you're not invited, so F*** O**".

    Then there was something about being a good neighbor who will cooperate. On that I had to throw at them how good neighbor would ask and not threaten with lawyers and suits. I need to start leaving porn on the TV on repeat at full volume. But the Vietnamese to my left is okay other than taking up like 3 extra parking spaces. And the contractor to my right is okay, too other than having a big butt truck parked next to my Caprice. So what i do won't affect the power drunk morons.

  • MobuckMobuck Member Posts: 13,176 ✭✭✭✭

    When I got married, we lived in a rented place for about 6 months while I built up funding to buy a small mobile home. Parked that on a farm we rented from Mom's oldest Son while I built up funding and waited for an old guy to decide he wanted to sell his farm. Bought that and have lived here since 1980.

    Don't intend to EVER live in a place I don't OWN again.

  • Toolman286Toolman286 Member Posts: 2,573 ✭✭✭✭

    The builder had to tent our house during construction due to powder post beetles in the wood flooring he installed. The stuff the pest control co used wasn't a "normal" poison. It was some kind of molecular crap that penetrated everything. Your fish probably wouldn't survive if that's what they're using.

  • BrookwoodBrookwood Member, Moderator Posts: 12,273 ******

    HOA's are anti-American. This is supposed to be the Land of the free.....

  • susiesusie Member Posts: 7,139 ✭✭✭✭

    I am the HOA at my house. At least that's what I tell myself. The freeloaders think I am mistaken.

  • chollagardenschollagardens Member Posts: 4,614 ✭✭✭

    Yeah I'm worried about this. I'm gonna put couple of layers of garbage bags on top and tape up the openings right before I have to vacate. Can't move the contents of the 100 and the 125.

    Won't work.

  • yoshmysteryoshmyster Member Posts: 19,954 ✭✭✭

    So the consensus is I'm gong to have bouillabaisse in the tanks. Well that sucks.

  • yoshmysteryoshmyster Member Posts: 19,954 ✭✭✭

    Just in time to let y'alls know I'll be on the farm while my joint is getting fumigated. So don't break in to my hovel. I'll pack my War Pig (the mini-van) with all my goodies including the tons of ammo so there ain't much to steal.

    I'll pack and park my Caprice with the not so well packaged eats and kitchen spices later today through out the weekend. I'll double plastic wrap the openings of the aquariums and then throw blankets over them to sort of keep it less cold while they air out the joint afterwards. The plan to keep some of the fish in the van went out the window since it's now too cold. What a difference a week makes.

    I get to visit the donkey at the farm and I got a bag of carrots for her to snack on. And their dog will follow me everywhere since I plan to pack some pork rinds. The pooch loves the swine.

  • He DogHe Dog Member Posts: 50,108 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2022

    Soon enough Colorado and New Mexico will be called the west coast.🤣

  • bullshotbullshot Member Posts: 13,520 ✭✭✭✭

    You say that until one of your neighbors decides to put a couple of old rusty Dodge's up on blocks in his front yard right next to his trampoline and dog pen.

    That kind of stuff may not bother you but I for one don't want to look at that kind of crap in my neighborhood.

    "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you"
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