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Al Gore's resume
scuta
Member Posts: 1,086 ✭✭✭✭
Albert A. Gore Jr.
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
Education
* Vanderbilt Law School
~ Wrote a dissertation on the Scopes Monkey Trial, which gained national recognition by proving once and for all that the monkeys were innocent.
* Harvard University
~ Won a scholarship in an essay contest, for which I composed the slogan "Beat Yale."
~ Led a student petition drive to have the school's team nickname changed to the Sentient Porpoises.
Employment History
* Vice President of the United States -- 1993 to 2001.
~ Reinvented the United States government.
~ Cast the tie-breaking vote on the 1993 budget, which triggered the greatest economic expansion in American history, and saved the nation from the worst economy in fifty years.
~ Prevented Republicans from taking school lunches from the mouths of starving children, as they were bent on doing.
* United States Senator -- 1985 to 1993
~ Fought for welfare reform, by authoring the bill I would convince President Clinton to sign, many years later.
~ Authored the Controlling Legal Authority Reform Act.
* Member of U.S. House of Representatives -- 1977 to 1985
~ Created the Earned Income Tax Credit.
~ Chaired House Subcommittee hearings on Watergate.
~ Proposed the minting of commemorative Bicentennial quarters.
* Reporter for The Tennesseean
~ Became the first reporter to interview Deep Throat, but did not publish the article, due to ethical concerns.
~ Conducted investigative report on the dietary hazard of peanut butter and banana sandwiches, which went tragically unheeded by one local celebrity.
Military History
~ Was awarded the Purple Heart, for removing a very, very hot flash bulb, while under heavy fire.
~ Conducted undercover report which exposed the infamous My Lai tragedy.
~ Uncovered ecological atrocities caused by napalm, which I discovered had been destroying the surrounding fauna and foliage.
~ Returned to Vietnam after the war, in a series of daring rescue missions, which were later recounted by Chuck Norris in the "Missing In Action" film series.
Publications
~ The Global Information Infrastructure: Agenda for Cooperation (1996) -- a plan for sharing my most famous creation with the world.
~ Common Sense Government: Works Better and Costs Less (1995) -- a proposal for reforming government, guided by the fiscal restraint for which I was famous when I served in Congress.
~ Earth in the Balance: Ecology and the Human Spirit (1993) -- a blueprint for counteracting gravity, continental drift, and other geological anomalies, through implementation of effective, common-sense policy initiatives.
Other achievements
~ Sister died.
~ Son was hit by car.
~ Dog ran away.
~ Sea monkeys didn't really do anything.
If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun." The Dalai Lama
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
Education
* Vanderbilt Law School
~ Wrote a dissertation on the Scopes Monkey Trial, which gained national recognition by proving once and for all that the monkeys were innocent.
* Harvard University
~ Won a scholarship in an essay contest, for which I composed the slogan "Beat Yale."
~ Led a student petition drive to have the school's team nickname changed to the Sentient Porpoises.
Employment History
* Vice President of the United States -- 1993 to 2001.
~ Reinvented the United States government.
~ Cast the tie-breaking vote on the 1993 budget, which triggered the greatest economic expansion in American history, and saved the nation from the worst economy in fifty years.
~ Prevented Republicans from taking school lunches from the mouths of starving children, as they were bent on doing.
* United States Senator -- 1985 to 1993
~ Fought for welfare reform, by authoring the bill I would convince President Clinton to sign, many years later.
~ Authored the Controlling Legal Authority Reform Act.
* Member of U.S. House of Representatives -- 1977 to 1985
~ Created the Earned Income Tax Credit.
~ Chaired House Subcommittee hearings on Watergate.
~ Proposed the minting of commemorative Bicentennial quarters.
* Reporter for The Tennesseean
~ Became the first reporter to interview Deep Throat, but did not publish the article, due to ethical concerns.
~ Conducted investigative report on the dietary hazard of peanut butter and banana sandwiches, which went tragically unheeded by one local celebrity.
Military History
~ Was awarded the Purple Heart, for removing a very, very hot flash bulb, while under heavy fire.
~ Conducted undercover report which exposed the infamous My Lai tragedy.
~ Uncovered ecological atrocities caused by napalm, which I discovered had been destroying the surrounding fauna and foliage.
~ Returned to Vietnam after the war, in a series of daring rescue missions, which were later recounted by Chuck Norris in the "Missing In Action" film series.
Publications
~ The Global Information Infrastructure: Agenda for Cooperation (1996) -- a plan for sharing my most famous creation with the world.
~ Common Sense Government: Works Better and Costs Less (1995) -- a proposal for reforming government, guided by the fiscal restraint for which I was famous when I served in Congress.
~ Earth in the Balance: Ecology and the Human Spirit (1993) -- a blueprint for counteracting gravity, continental drift, and other geological anomalies, through implementation of effective, common-sense policy initiatives.
Other achievements
~ Sister died.
~ Son was hit by car.
~ Dog ran away.
~ Sea monkeys didn't really do anything.
If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun." The Dalai Lama
Comments
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
quote:Publications
~ The Global Information Infrastructure: Agenda for Cooperation (1996) -- a plan for sharing my most famous creation with the world.
If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun." The Dalai Lama
No I didn't ...
quote:Publications
~ The Global Information Infrastructure: Agenda for Cooperation (1996) -- a plan for sharing my most famous creation with the world.
If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun." The Dalai Lama
I stand corrected!![8)][:I]
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun." The Dalai Lama
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Are you saying you think Algore is qualified ??!!
If you must burn our flag, please wrap yourself in it first.
"If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun." The Dalai Lama
(That is, if the new electronic voting machines here in FL will let me do so.)
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
Anyone but Bush '04!
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
Donna Harper