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Stupidist thing your boss ever said
shoff14
Member Posts: 11,994 ✭✭✭
I need a laugh, lets hear them!
Comments
nobody got fired. boss was just an idiot.
Or
Trust me.
Me: "With all due respect, sir...No way."
Later analysis determined that someone had pissed in the pot.
My reply: "Ron, I'm stupid...not blind."
My boss then proceeds to chew me out about how our store has a no questions asked policy regarding returns and that I knew that and that she was going to have to report me for bad customer service.
It was after all of this that she finally uttered the stupidest thing I've ever heard. "What were they returning?"
After telling her she should have asked that first, I proceeded to let her know that the customer did not have anything to return and that I was in the middle of explaining to them that if they wanted their money back, they would need to bring the merchandise back first.
The look on her face was priceless.
No, but you did obtain it by marrying the owners less than attractive daughter.
Yeah, burned out, saddled with three ulcers, sweaty, desperately unhappy, and flat broke, sure... why not?
I kissed a lot of * to get this job, and I'm not going to let some college boy push me out of it. (Darton Archery)
They don't call me "Knee Walker" for nothing. (United States Gypsum)
.."What's that sound that I don't hear?"
I told him that, at minimum wage, working overnights, I wouldn't need more than a minute or so.
'Course, he fired me on the spot, so I guess I won that one, eh?
Margaret Thatcher
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."
Mark Twain
my boss once was a 20 yrd old and i was 22. we were alone in the office after closing and he said "i want you ". we made out a little but that was it. true story. he got fired 3 days later and i have no reason why. i never said anything to anyone. later i wondered if they had cameras in there or something. about 10 years after that i saw him at a restruant with a wife and kids.
Did you just come out of the closet?
... got a wife ... and she NEVER says stupid stuff!
[:o)]
What he was really saying: This project sucks and I don't want to do it....[:D]
What's worse is that I fell for it.
BOSS: "We just need you for about three weeks. Everyone's caseload is tremendous, so if you could come in and help out everyone, I promise you you'll be back in the field in three weeks."
I was out of the field for over two years. Then, I quit, and then, my boss suggested that I'd be begging for my job back.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well, that ain't gonna happen.
Cliff cleaned the room spotless! He threw a dozen or so brand new tires in the dumpster, along with a brand new in the box big battery charger and some other good stuff!
A few days later the boss asks Cliff where exactly did he get the four brand new Atlas Golden Air II tires that he sees on his old rust bucket car. Cliff says "out of the dumpster at a gas station"!!!!!!!! Then it hit old Tom................He said EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!
Cliff sold the other tires and the battery charger the day after he picked them out of the dumpster!
Her response: "I can't see where you do all that much."
That afternoon, she received an e-mail from HR informing her I'd put my retirement papers in. Three days after I retired, she called and asked if I'd consider a consulting position. I laughed and hung up on her.
Clouder..
"and whats your name?"
Former Member U.S. Navy Shooting Team
Former NSSA All American
Navy Distinguished Pistol Shot
MO, CT, VA.
Your hired.[:p]
one morning my mother called me, my stepfather had passed away, he was lying in their bed, and she did not know what to do, and was obviously not thinking right and upset, i called my boss and explained the situation, and i was the only person that could help, i was in my car driving to her house, his words where " turn around and get in here, business comes first", i just hung up the phone, next day went to work we never spoke of it, i just lost every bit of respect i had for the man
Stupidist thing your boss ever said
Your hired.
Stinkers ... sorry to have to keep interrupting you ...
but I think you mean 'you're' (in this case) ... it's
a conjunction for 'you are' ... just wanted to bring
it to your attention. Nothing personal.
[:D]
His nickname was Dwe (Dick with ears).
Dept. head talking to 170 people-
Ok every one listen up! This Saturday and sunday their will be mandatory overtime we need to modify the modifications that have been re-modified for the retrofit modifications that have been modified.
We should have modified red line drawings for you by Monday of next week.
That is no joke!
"That's a pallet of dog food."
My reply: "Ron, I'm stupid...not blind."
LOL ooooooooo thats funny![:D]
quote:Originally posted by OJMayo
my boss once was a 20 yrd old and i was 22. we were alone in the office after closing and he said "i want you ". we made out a little but that was it. true story. he got fired 3 days later and i have no reason why. i never said anything to anyone. later i wondered if they had cameras in there or something. about 10 years after that i saw him at a restruant with a wife and kids.
Did you just come out of the closet?
WOOHHHHHHHHHHHH NO WONDER IT GOT DESKEETED!!!I mean deleated.[:X][:X]