In order to participate in the GunBroker Member forums, you must be logged in with your GunBroker.com account. Click the sign-in button at the top right of the forums page to get connected.
s--- or get off the pot
slicker than a politician in election year.
tighter than a frogs a--
tighter than a nunn's c---
wish in one hand and s--- in the other and see which one fills up first.
hotter than new love.
hotter than a fresh f---ed fox in a forest fire.
that boy could mess up a wet dream.
he couldnt fight his way out of a wet paper bag.
lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way.
light a match
jiggle the handle
aint got enough sense to leave a cup to prime the pump.
stands out like a sore thumb
hes like trying to screw in a ten penny nail, useless.
aint got sense to come in out of the rain
never cry wolf
dont cry over spilled milk
dont put all your eggs in one basket
dont count your chicks before they are hatched.
a penny saved is a penny earned
and you can take that to the bank
a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
always wear clean underwear.
if that aint the pot calling the kettle black?
dont go off half cocked.
keep your powder dry
sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
raining like a cow pi55ing on a rock
raining cats and dogs
dog tired
His elevator doesn't go to the top floor
His pilot light has gone out
slicker than owl manure
colder than the nuts on a brass monkey
he is not playing with a full deck
she is so ugly her mom had to tye pork chops around her neck so the dog would play with her
she is so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water
he's so ugly his daddy slapped the doctor
You should oughtta better not do that
Sh@t a brick....and throw it through a window
Looks like a pack of monkeys f#$%ing a football
Useless aa a two-peckered billygoat on a sheep ranch
Busier than a cat covering sh#t on a tin roof
Well..........see there
And that's that
(I usually say these when I'm standing by watching someone F-up something after I've already told them to do it differently, or not at all! Also usually gets me a dirty look! *LOL*)
Craftsman price......Wal-Mart quality
Send 'em to school for 12 years......see what your money gets ya'?
Did you have to go to college to learn that?
Generally speaking I'm the king of smart-azzed comments amongst family and friends and don't think just because you're hurt I'm gonna cut you any slack.
Did that hurt? (when it obviously did) Well then try not to do that again, for awhile
Rub dirt in it and take a lap
I hope that doesn't feel like it looks
I'll alert the media (when someone states the obvious)
You can't hit the broad side of a barn.
Slicker than owl sh**.
It's like herding cats.
Tough as pushing a rope up a downspout.
Need some prop wash...
...go get me 3 feet of flight line...
Persimmons will turn your mouth inside out.
You don't believe goat horns will hook.
Stuborn as a mule.
He's lower than a pregnant snake.
I'm doing fair to mid-lin'.
I'm just peachy-keen. [A reference to somehwere between 'sharp as a tack' and 'fuzzy as apeach'].
Coyote ugly...
Double coyote ugly...
Grinnin' like a cat eatin' briars...
Grinnin' ear to ear...
Bend over and kiss it good bye.
Dumber than a door-knob.
The lights are on..., but nobody's home.
Her elevator stops a couple floors short of the top.
'I see' said, the blindman, who had but one eye.
Like pizzin up a downspout.
Like pizzin in the wind.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't cry over spilled milk.
It's water under the bridge now.
He knew it like the back of his hand...
Don't throw the baby out with the dishwater.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
You can take him to water... but you can't make him drink.
Dead as a door-nail.
He robbed the crib.
She just wanted a sugar-daddy...
He'll be late for his own funeral...
Hurry..., pinch it off short... we gotta go.
That TP is as rough as sand paper.
Pepperoni face
I'm always a day late and a dollar short.
As useless as a left handed smoke twister.
Money don't grow on trees.
Nutty as a professor.
Busier than a bee-hive.
Don't get on your high horse.
My aunt used to say..."don't go sharpening your pencil tonight!"
Nutty as friutcake
It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.
As crooked as a snake.
Curiosity will kill the cat.
As useless as a bump on a log.
I get tongue-tied sometimes.
Catta wompus [as not straight]
Catta cornered [diagonally across a corner]
He's tuck between a rock and hard place.
It ain't rocket science...
Ahh, go blow smoke out your a**.
Don't be goin' postal on us now...
She's sweet as sugar and twice as nice...
He's just a country bumpkin.
We're going balls deep boys!
So short..., he could play hand-ball with a curb.
Flat as a fritter [pancake].
Jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.
He's heads over heels for her.
It's just dumb luck no skill required...
Is that a pistol in yer pocket... or are you just happy to see me?
That's as corny as grandma's toes!
I'm a poet and big feet show's it..., they're long-fellows.
Don't judge a book by it's cover.
A rainy day... "Wonderful day for ducks".
She's so looney, she's got bats in her belfry.
Better than snuff and not half as dusty.
Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.
Colder than a well diggers *.
Hotter than 2 rats f--kin in a wool sock.
Dumber than a dam rock.
Dumber than a bag of hammers.
Ain't got the common sense God gave a turkey.
She's like a doorknob everbody's had a turn.
Couldn't get laid in a monkey wh0re house with a handful of banannas.
She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
She got beat with an ugly stick.
Happier than a pig in fooey.
Opinions are like @$$holes evrbody has one and they all stink.
If you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen.
Birds of a feather flock together.
You would * if you was hung with a new rope.
If you lay down with dogs you will get up with fleas.
Never judge another until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
Never eat yellow snow.
Madder than a wet hen.
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.
You keep flapping your jaws your gonna give your tounge a sunburn.
Keep sticking your tongue out a bird will fooey on it.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Don't skinny dip with snappin turtles.
When you wallow with pigs expect to get dirty.
There's no need to go borrowing trouble.
If the leaves turn up it will rain soon.
Don't count your chickens before they have hatched.
Never put all your eggs in one basket.
There's no sense in crying over spilled milk.
Slower than molasses in January.
So slow you can't get out of your own way.
You look like you've been rode hard and put up wet.
He's about as sharp as a mud pie and nearly as bright.
She had a face that would make a freight train take a dirt road.
She's so ugly you'd have to tie pork chops around her neck yo get the dog to play with her.
That road turns so sharp you'll honk at your own tail lights.
He's so ugly he has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.
She's so ugly they had to put milk around his mouth to get the cats to kiss him.
He lies so bad he has to hire someone else to call his dogs.
She lies like a rug.
He lies like a dog.
Smart as a tree full of owls.
High as a kit
Pretty as a junebug
Happy as a lark
Full as a tick
Honest as Abe
Straight as an arrow
Smiling like a possum eating china berries
Blind in one eye and can't see out the other
Blind as a bat
Rainin' like a cow pissin' on a flat rock
Common sense ain't so common any more
He's so tight, he sqeeks when he walks
You can take a horse to water but you cam't make him drink
I'm so poor I can't pay attention
She so ugly she would run the buzzards off a gut wagon
I'd rather be shot at and missed than bababooey at and hit
Ma, put a stick in those beans so the farts can climb out
And last - old hunting buddy said - If that boy (has sex) like he shoots, he ain't never goin' to have no kids.
Comments
he had more chit then the Chicago Stockyard
Wow - you can't even drink that one pretty!
Meanwhile - back at the ranch.
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
"Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one fall down the stairs."
slicker than a politician in election year.
tighter than a frogs a--
tighter than a nunn's c---
wish in one hand and s--- in the other and see which one fills up first.
hotter than new love.
hotter than a fresh f---ed fox in a forest fire.
that boy could mess up a wet dream.
he couldnt fight his way out of a wet paper bag.
lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way.
light a match
jiggle the handle
aint got enough sense to leave a cup to prime the pump.
stands out like a sore thumb
hes like trying to screw in a ten penny nail, useless.
aint got sense to come in out of the rain
never cry wolf
dont cry over spilled milk
dont put all your eggs in one basket
dont count your chicks before they are hatched.
a penny saved is a penny earned
and you can take that to the bank
a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
always wear clean underwear.
if that aint the pot calling the kettle black?
dont go off half cocked.
keep your powder dry
sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
raining like a cow pi55ing on a rock
raining cats and dogs
dog tired
shinnier than a new dime in a *@%%$#@ as.
Colder than a whores heart
Harder than a whores heart
? otherwise, you'll find an excuse.
I ain't got no dogs in that fight ( I have heard my father in law tell someone this when they asked his opinion on someone else's gossipy feud
If you go out asking for trouble, you will soon find it
Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks
So slow you have to drive two sticks in the ground to see if its moving
"I Don't understand all I know about that"
Older than Dirt
"The more things you own, the more they own you"
[blue]* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
[:D]
Close only counts in horse-shoes...
I've been to 3 goat ropin's and 2 county fairs and never seen anything like that.
Favorites of my high school science teacher.
My grand father and my dad use this term when describing a vehicle that hauls *. I find myself using it a lot too.
AGAIN!!!! BE SAFE!!! Buffler
His pilot light has gone out
slicker than owl manure
colder than the nuts on a brass monkey
he is not playing with a full deck
she is so ugly her mom had to tye pork chops around her neck so the dog would play with her
she is so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water
he's so ugly his daddy slapped the doctor
Sh@t a brick....and throw it through a window
Looks like a pack of monkeys f#$%ing a football
Useless aa a two-peckered billygoat on a sheep ranch
Busier than a cat covering sh#t on a tin roof
Well..........see there
And that's that
(I usually say these when I'm standing by watching someone F-up something after I've already told them to do it differently, or not at all! Also usually gets me a dirty look! *LOL*)
Craftsman price......Wal-Mart quality
Send 'em to school for 12 years......see what your money gets ya'?
Did you have to go to college to learn that?
Generally speaking I'm the king of smart-azzed comments amongst family and friends and don't think just because you're hurt I'm gonna cut you any slack.
Did that hurt? (when it obviously did) Well then try not to do that again, for awhile
Rub dirt in it and take a lap
I hope that doesn't feel like it looks
I'll alert the media (when someone states the obvious)
I'm as serious as a heart attack!
He took to it like a wolf pup to red meat.
...ever since Christ was a Cub Scout.
...ever since Moby Dick was a guppy.
He's so tight you couldn't drive a hatpin up his * with a sledgehammer.
Ever since Hitler was a corporal!
He couldn't lay a brick in a wheelbarrow
so hungry I could eat the * out of a bull skunk...
the east end of a horse going west...
so hungry I could eat the * out of a bull skunk...
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. .
I think this is fitting.
Slicker than owl sh**.
It's like herding cats.
Tough as pushing a rope up a downspout.
Need some prop wash...
...go get me 3 feet of flight line...
Persimmons will turn your mouth inside out.
You don't believe goat horns will hook.
Stuborn as a mule.
He's lower than a pregnant snake.
I'm doing fair to mid-lin'.
I'm just peachy-keen. [A reference to somehwere between 'sharp as a tack' and 'fuzzy as apeach'].
Coyote ugly...
Double coyote ugly...
Grinnin' like a cat eatin' briars...
Grinnin' ear to ear...
Bend over and kiss it good bye.
Dumber than a door-knob.
The lights are on..., but nobody's home.
Her elevator stops a couple floors short of the top.
'I see' said, the blindman, who had but one eye.
Like pizzin up a downspout.
Like pizzin in the wind.
Don't eat yellow snow.
Don't cry over spilled milk.
It's water under the bridge now.
He knew it like the back of his hand...
Don't throw the baby out with the dishwater.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
You can take him to water... but you can't make him drink.
Dead as a door-nail.
He robbed the crib.
She just wanted a sugar-daddy...
He'll be late for his own funeral...
Hurry..., pinch it off short... we gotta go.
That TP is as rough as sand paper.
Pepperoni face
I'm always a day late and a dollar short.
As useless as a left handed smoke twister.
Money don't grow on trees.
Nutty as a professor.
Busier than a bee-hive.
Don't get on your high horse.
My aunt used to say..."don't go sharpening your pencil tonight!"
It's like looking for a needle in a haystack.
As crooked as a snake.
Curiosity will kill the cat.
As useless as a bump on a log.
I get tongue-tied sometimes.
Catta wompus [as not straight]
Catta cornered [diagonally across a corner]
He's tuck between a rock and hard place.
It ain't rocket science...
Ahh, go blow smoke out your a**.
Don't be goin' postal on us now...
She's sweet as sugar and twice as nice...
He's just a country bumpkin.
We're going balls deep boys!
So short..., he could play hand-ball with a curb.
Flat as a fritter [pancake].
Jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.
He's heads over heels for her.
It's just dumb luck no skill required...
-F'ed up as a football bat.
-Higher than a hawk's nest.
-He could f' up a n****r wedding.
-He's so stupid, he took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jiff.
She looked like 10 lbs of potatoes stuffed into a 5 lb sack.
"dead nuts."
I needed that like I need another hole in my head.
...when Chesty was a PFC...When Moses was a Corporal...back in the Old Corps...
That's as corny as grandma's toes!
I'm a poet and big feet show's it..., they're long-fellows.
Don't judge a book by it's cover.
A rainy day... "Wonderful day for ducks".
She's so looney, she's got bats in her belfry.
Better than snuff and not half as dusty.
is * and elbows!
Whooptie Do!
It's over yonder.
Colder than a well diggers *.
Hotter than 2 rats f--kin in a wool sock.
Dumber than a dam rock.
Dumber than a bag of hammers.
Ain't got the common sense God gave a turkey.
She's like a doorknob everbody's had a turn.
Couldn't get laid in a monkey wh0re house with a handful of banannas.
She fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
She got beat with an ugly stick.
Happier than a pig in fooey.
Opinions are like @$$holes evrbody has one and they all stink.
If you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen.
Birds of a feather flock together.
You would * if you was hung with a new rope.
If you lay down with dogs you will get up with fleas.
Never judge another until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
Never eat yellow snow.
Madder than a wet hen.
Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockers.
You keep flapping your jaws your gonna give your tounge a sunburn.
Keep sticking your tongue out a bird will fooey on it.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Don't skinny dip with snappin turtles.
When you wallow with pigs expect to get dirty.
There's no need to go borrowing trouble.
If the leaves turn up it will rain soon.
Don't count your chickens before they have hatched.
Never put all your eggs in one basket.
There's no sense in crying over spilled milk.
Slower than molasses in January.
So slow you can't get out of your own way.
You look like you've been rode hard and put up wet.
He's about as sharp as a mud pie and nearly as bright.
She had a face that would make a freight train take a dirt road.
She's so ugly you'd have to tie pork chops around her neck yo get the dog to play with her.
That road turns so sharp you'll honk at your own tail lights.
He's so ugly he has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink.
She's so ugly they had to put milk around his mouth to get the cats to kiss him.
He lies so bad he has to hire someone else to call his dogs.
She lies like a rug.
He lies like a dog.
Smart as a tree full of owls.
She's got a battleship behind and a destroyer face
F***ed up like a soup sandwich
Like two puppies playing in a burlap sack (referring to woman walking away)
Everyday above ground is a good one.
So slow he can't get out of his own way.
You've got your work cut out for ya'.
Hell of a way to run a railroad.
Like watching a train wreck.
Anybody with a glass eyeball in their butt could see that.
Couldn't pour piss out of boot.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Let's don't and say we did.
Pretty as a junebug
Happy as a lark
Full as a tick
Honest as Abe
Straight as an arrow
Smiling like a possum eating china berries
Blind in one eye and can't see out the other
Blind as a bat
Rainin' like a cow pissin' on a flat rock
Common sense ain't so common any more
He's so tight, he sqeeks when he walks
You can take a horse to water but you cam't make him drink
I'm so poor I can't pay attention
She so ugly she would run the buzzards off a gut wagon
I'd rather be shot at and missed than bababooey at and hit
Ma, put a stick in those beans so the farts can climb out
And last - old hunting buddy said - If that boy (has sex) like he shoots, he ain't never goin' to have no kids.
Dumber than a football bat........
Wouldn't take too many of him to make a dozen.......
Big enough to kick-start a Kenworth.........